Thursday, April 3, 2008

Occasional Definitions: Titanium

(Definition 1)
Proof that you've spent more money on your cook set (or stove, or boot lace tips) than anyone else in your group.

(Definition 2)
Proof that you're a trendy idiot.

(Definition 3)
Metal incorrectly described by absolutely everyone stupid as "amazingly lightweight and strong, and perhaps the way to go if you're obsessive about ounces." It isn't.

Titanium is a metal. Titanium is light, compared to uranium, but not compared to steel. Aluminum is the way to go if you're obsessive about ounces. Titanium is only 12% lighter than steel, though it has most of steel's strength.

Aluminum is 54% lighter than steel and has 75% of steel's strength. Titanium doesn't ding or dent very easily (making it tough), and is highly resistant to corrosion (which keeps it pretty).

If you want a cooking pot and you don't care a lot about how pretty it is, but you do care about how heavy it is, then aluminum is the way to go. You sort of care how tough a pot is and you probably care a lot about how much it costs.

You may also kind of care how gunky it's going to end up looking. Titanium is significantly heavier and vastly more expensive than aluminum, but tougher, and those who own titanium gear feel smarter because it looks new longer.

A lot of people who feel that way don't go backpacking because if they go backpacking they will get their clothes dirty, they will get sweaty and tired, and they really above all want to keep that just-off-the-shelf look.

Titanium is for them. Titanium is for people who don't want to sweat or ever walk uphill.

(Definition 4)
The Fairy Queen in Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream." Nope. Wrong again. That was Titania. Dang.

From: Fire In Your Hand