Thursday, December 9, 2010

Occasional Definitions: Adjustable Suspension

Adjustable Suspension: To accommodate a variety of torso lengths and thicknesses, and variable densities of body fur, some packs have shoulder straps and/or hip belts that move up and down on the pack frame, and this adjustability allows you to fine-tune the fit of your pack.

Instead of doing this you could also gain or lose weight, or wait to grow an inch or two, or wait somewhat longer for old age in the hope of shrinking to fit.

You can also go to a pet groomer and have your pelt clipped back a bit.

But some packs do not have external frames. In fact most packs do not have external frames any more, so generally speaking you should stop trying to adjust it. If your new pack is too small, then give it 20 or 30 years, grow old and wither, and maybe then you can finally fit into it. There may be no other way.

If that works for you, be sure to get a walker with lug soles.

Adjustable Suspension:
A belt. Adjust it too loosely and your pants fall down around your ankles. This can result in a nasty fall, so keep a close eye on your belt at all times. This can also result in a nasty fall because you aren't watching the trail, so keep a watch on the trail at all times. But don't forget about your belt either. If necessary, hire someone to come along with you and watch your belt for you, or stay at home and eat chips, drink beer, and watch football on TV.

Adjust the belt too tightly and your lunch can come back at you, with an attitude, so watch the belt carefully. Try loosening your belt if you have problems with your lunch escaping.

If your pants fall down a lot then the belt is too loose again, or you've lost a lot of weight because of your not being able to keep lunch around long enough to do some good. You can start over from scratch and try staying in your jammies for a few weeks, then moving back cautiously into elastic-waisted pants, and only later, once you're sure that you're fully desensitized, back into belted pants.

If none of this works then try suspenders or overalls.

Overalls are comfy, and they make it so easy to scratch anywhere you want to, anytime.

(From what will be a new web site, and maybe a book. Anyway, I'm working on it all.)