Open-Ended Zipper

(1) The open-ended zipper uses a "box and pin" mechanism to lock the two sides of the zipper's end into place when the zipper is closed, but it also "comes apart" when it is fully opened. This type is often used in jackets and other outerwear that has to fully open.

(2) Unlike the closed-ended zipper, this baby knows no limits. Just you, the sky, and the open road, my friend.

Grab, pull, and keep pulling as long as you want — this zipper will stay with you to the end, and there isn't any. Go for it.

The open-ended zipper isn't infinite though. That's the point. You don't have to think about it, only pull. No philosophical implications whatsoever. No guilt, nothing. The zipper does all you need by coming apart where it needs to.

And here's the kicker — it's supposed to come apart at the far end. One end for open, one end for closed. That's it!

Pull one way and it closes up nice and snug. Pull the other and your jacket's fully open so the bugs can get in not only around your neck, but from the front too, and around the bottom. In fact, if the bugs are really thick, and hungry, and your jacket is unzipped as the professionals say, well those bugs can slide your whole jacket right off you the way you peel a banana, but easier (cuz the zipper's open), and expose all of your tasty goodness.

And, at no extra cost, you get the same benefits with this kind of zipper as with all the rest — teeth.

Yep.

Any odd body parts or areas with loose skin or stray hairs can get sucked right in and pinched in those teeth until you don't know what all.

Metal teeth are best for this, of course. And then when the zipper gets old, sometimes it splits apart right in the middle, so you can have it zipped up tight and cozy and then suddenly your soft belly is out in the cold wind again.

Not to mention jamming. Buttons never rose to this level of sophistication.

When the open-ended zipper is working right its bottom has a sort of little box on one side and a pin-like deelybob on the other that fits into the empty slot in the box, and that locks it, for when you want to zip up and go do gnarly stuff.

That's about it. Go for it if you dare.

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Still bleeding a bit.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Number 10 Zipper

(1) One heavy weight zipper.

Used for 10-inch (25 cm) diameter openings, which is big enough for a housecat (or determined raccoon) to get through.

Very few (possibly no) backpackers need a zipper of this size, or know how to use one safely.

Originally based on sixteenth century British artillery regulations, zipper size was directly related to the size of the shot carried in ammunition bags.

A number three zipper was used for four-pounders, a number five zipper was adequate for 18 pounders, and so on.

These shot bags, ammunition bags, or ball sacks as they were popularly known, were quite a lot like modern bowling ball bags, except that they were canvas, held a dozen balls when full, required a crew of six to carry, were used under fire, and had no clever handles.

Cannons, at the time this system was established, maxed out at a ball weight of 42 pounds (19 kg), and that was for a diameter of 6.68 inches (17 cm).

The 10 inch ball (or shot), as you can imagine, remained purely hypothetical, as it would have been impractically large and heavy.

Though impressive.

Another way of saying it is that a 10-incher would have been something to write home about.

Even to your mother.

If you claim that you need a number 10 zipper, for anything, let alone backpacking, then you are blowing serious smoke from your muzzle.

(2) But seriously, a zipper whose width when zipped closed is 10 millimeters. Likewise for number three zipper, number five zipper, and so on. This definition is no fun at all. Truth is too often like that.

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Only have a learner's permit.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Muscle Relaxant

(1) Pedantic definition: A drug affecting skeletal muscle function to decrease muscle tone. It may be used to alleviate symptoms such as muscle spasms, and pain induced by hiking. It either blocks transmission of nerve impulses or decreases the excitability of the nerves.

(2) Practical definition: Beer. Fermented sugar. Alcohol. Grain alcohol (ethanol). Used externally it can cook your food, after a match is applied to it. Used internally it can cook your brain. It also relaxes stiff, tense muscles as a secondary effect of working its magic on brain cells, which it will destroy if abused, so always be nice to your beer.

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? My sips are sealed.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Love Nest

(1) Classically interpreted, in trailspeak, a "love nest" is two sleeping bags zipped together.

Sometimes, however, this doesn't work quite as well as planned, and then what do you do, unzip your half of the pod and sort of nonchalantly scooch over to the other side of the tent and hope you won't be missed?

Maybe.

How the exact scenario plays out can depend a lot on whether anyone in the immediate neighborhood is reaching for a knife at the time.

(2) A tent.

Even if you are alone this can still work.

Even a bivy sack can work, if you have the right kind of imagination and put your mind to it, whether you have friends or not. Etc.

(3) A shallow recess or niche in a cliff. An overhang. Space under a cedar tree. Dense covering shrubbery. Anywhere, anything handy that will get you out sight and/or out of the wind and rain, so you have enough privacy to do the stuff you need to do. Whatever it happens to be. We're not asking.

(4) Codpiece.

(5) Your bed at home, which you suddenly get this intense, almost romantic longing for, after you've been on the trail for a while.

You remember its soft touch, its gentle embrace, its warmth. Its cleanliness. The way you snuggled the pillow and it snuggled back.

You recall those endless nights of bliss, when you snored like a wart hog and the bed not only accepted you without reservation but seemed to beg for more.

You yearn for the times when you woke, not in the dark, in the wilderness, with hordes of flies waiting for you in the trees, in the grass, in the bushes, but well after the sun was already up, when you woke rested, refreshed, comfy, yet able (and sometimes willing) to relapse at any moment, to nap again with wild abandon, if the impulse took you.

Well, that's gone now. Gone now. Long gone. Now your life is dirt and sweat and dust and bugs. No love, no nest.

Example: "It could get cold tonight. Let's get into our new love nest and see if it works. Luckily I brought one big enough for all six of us."

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Never actually had the opportunity.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals