A "blaze" is a mark, originally a light-colored splotch of fur on the face of a horse or a cow, and such-like critters.
From way back when, the mostest-oldest version of this word meant "to shine, to flash, to burn", which kind of fits. Doesn't it?
Anyway, from from the 1660s on, American English adapted "blaze" to also mean (aside from fur spots, and references to fire) marks cut on tree trunks to show the way. A "blaze" in this sense is mostly used today to apply to the route of the Appalachian Trail in the eastern U.S., where the route is often marked by swatches of bright paint.
So anyway, blazes show the way.
Unless you get tired of walking, when you might choose to catch a ride and then pretend that the yellow lines whizzing by on the highway are also blazes, which they are, sort of, though generally you can sleep through that movie. "Yellow blaze" is a hiker in-joke about trail markers painted on the highway, because you can tell yourself that the yellow-blazed road is a route that you are still conscientiously traveling down.
"Yellow-blazing" then is what a long-distance hiker does by taking to the road instead of sticking to the trail. Catching a car ride around some portion of the trail and picking up the hike at a different point on the trail after watching all the yellow stripes go by. Hitch-hiking or driving somewhere to cut off part of a longer hike. Can be considered cheating, probably mostly by people who keep saying "Hike Your Own Hike". As long as you do it their way.
Whether yellow-blazing is legitimate or not is up to the person doing it, so mind your own business already.
Example: "Seeing the yellow-blazer at the wedding reception seemed odd. She should have been out hiking. Maybe she got dropped off here by accident, or just showed up for the free food."
(Note: Today's term has nothing to do with The Flaming Urine Phenomenon. In fact, we've never even heard of that one, so forget about it right now.)
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Me? Still have never even heard of flaming urine.
Etc...
so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction definitions: outdoor terms fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals
(1) A trail requiring limited skill with little challenge to travel. Easy is defined as relaxing, posing minimal difficulties and able to be traveled with little physical effort. Moderate is defined as not requiring excessive or extreme physical effort. Difficult is defined as physically strenuous requiring excessive or extreme physical effort. And so on.
(2) A trail of less than four miles (6.5 km) round trip and with less than a 2000 foot (610 m) elevation gain. Round trip hiking time is generally 45 minutes to 3 hours, but inexperienced hikers may take longer, and some of them choose to either get hopelessly lost, or even die sometimes, only one or two steps off the pavement. (Go figure.) This is only a guideline not a rule. You may die in some other, more interesting way.
(3) "Easy Trail" is a description you might use if you want to encourage others to die attempting to negotiate what almost just killed you. If you're that kind of person. Maybe you are. Who can say?
(4) The gummint and assorted experts and hangers-on have gotten into this cookie jar too, and gone ahead and defined difficulty once and for all and for ever and ever, so you no longer have to think. An easy trail is one that someone has decided is relaxing, posing minimal difficulties and able to be traveled with little physical effort. There is nothing really wrong with that. Just assume that trail means a long and narrow piece of ground with few stores fronting it, and you more or less have it. Sort of a skinny park. Yawn. Are we done yet? Can we go home now?
Example: Barb preferred doing the easy trails with Ed, because if she limited him to those trails he didn't end up whining so much.
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Me? Easy, peasy, but still slow and wheezy.
Etc...
so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction definitions: outdoor terms fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals
Q: I want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail from Mexico to Canada — can I take a taxi on the days I don't feel like walking?
A: Sure, but backcountry taxis are all coin-operated, so bring lots of quarters — maybe a 15-pound bag to start with. You don't want to be stranded in Las Vegas without a ride, or money to play the slot machines.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes?
A: If you go in a clockwise direction. (This is important.) Unless you are very experienced, then going the other way could make you dizzy, which might attract unwelcome attention from rangers, and you stand a good chance of getting cited for being "under the influence". Also, keep your pants on. Even if you aren't showing any signs of dizziness, but are running around in the bushes without pants, this may trigger a "red flag alert", during which television crews are called in, so make sure your hair is combed.
Q: So it's true what they say about backpackers?
A: Some of it, but it's hard to say which parts those might be.
Q: Are there any ATMs along the trails?
A: The ATM, or "asynchronous terror moment" may occur at any time or location, regardless of what you might be doing, hence the "asynchronous" part. Say, for example, that you are awakened in the middle of the night by a loud snap, followed by a crash, and then a deafening, wordless wail. Immediately you begin thinking that you should have spent a few moments calculating the smallest limb diameter on a douglas fir tree that could support a 350-pound (159 kg) black bear, because obviously one has just climbed up to your food bag and snapped off the limb you hung the bag from, bringing the food, the limb, and the bear back to earth, including enough injuries to instigate a blind fury incident. This is all normal, and you have been through it many times. What you don't expect next is having something heavy crash into your tent, fall on top of you (trapping you inside your mummy-shaped sleeping bag) and hearing it begin to swear with a pronounced Scottish accent, especially since you are backpacking (and camped) alone. As a side note, the ATM is also an international scientific measure of fear equivalent to about 146.959488 pounds per square inch (1,013,249.958604 pascals) of lung pressure produced during the average panicked scream. And, needless to say, when you finally do emerge from your tent to find out just exactly what is going on, everything is normal, and quiet, your food bag is still where you hung it, there is no one else in or near your camp site, but your tent is, of course, trashed.
Q: Which direction is North?
A: Whenever you go hiking or backpacking, there are certain essential things you should always carry. One of these is a map. Maps are handy because they show landmarks, topography, fast-food joints, and car washes. But that isn't all. By convention the top side of a map is defined as north, so, if you are ever confused about the finer points of compass directions, simply turn your map right side up, and peek over its top edge. You will be looking due north, and if you walk in that direction, then after some time you will return to exactly the same point that you started from, so you can't get lost either. These features have been a standard part of all maps since at least the days of ancient Greece, when Homer of Simpson laid down his 17 Cartographic Principles in 384 BCE, following a collision of two ox-drawn vehicles whose drivers became confused over the right-of-way at an intersection of six rural pathways in the southern Peloponnese. If the Greeks could figure it out, then you can too.
Q: Can I bring my monkey? I'm getting a marmoset monkey soon and was wondering if I can bring it backpacking. Any thoughts?
A: Like most things, context is important. If you plan to be hiking the Appalachian Trail, and you have a small pack that the monkey can carry, probably no one will notice. You find all kinds of people on this trail. Typically, men let their hair and beards grow, while women shave their heads. Some even hike naked, so a furry monkey carrying a pack is likely to be mistaken for a family member, possibly your son or father. If, however, your monkey is quick to anger, and delights in flinging feces at strangers during one of its hissy fits, then it may be best to bone up on your mediation skills before hitting the trail for the summer. And don't forget to carry a supply of moist antiseptic wipes — they can be really handy for rapidly defusing cleanup situations. And one more thing..."monkey butt". Monkey butt is a highly contagious disease afflicting, as you might guess, monkeys. And those who love them. If you find yourself troubled by soreness, itching, and redness that occurs "back there", or in some cases "down there" as well (especially if you are really tight with your monkey), and if the discomfort causes you to walk bowlegged like said monkey, then you may indeed have monkey butt. But if you are a backpacker you probably have these symptoms even if you hardly ever get within feces-hurling range of even one monkey. It's par for the course, as they say, along with having your own personal cloud of flies. So you might as well bring that monkey, because it can't really make things much worse.
Q: My mama did not raise her boy to sleep in no damn dirt with bugs and creepies crawling all over him. What's wrong with you people anyway, to want to go and do something like that?
A: Swift as wind. Quiet as the forest. Steady as a mountain. Conquering like fire. Able to inhale banquets. Impervious to bugs. Laughing at monkey butt. We are hikers.
Q: Do you eat stuff?
A: No. The Backpacker Code prevents the ingestion of any food for the duration of a hike. This is why most packs are so big. You might think that backpacker's packs are loaded with food, and that's why they are ginormous, but since backpackers are not allowed to eat (not only by sworn oath, but by law in most places), they need something to do while on the trail, so they bring lots of toys. Toy trucks, life-size dolls, board games, playing cards, musical instruments, firearms, medical implements, textbooks, knitting tools, you name it — anything that might relieve the boredom and take a person's mind off food gets tossed into a pack. Food porn too. Lots of that. If you pay attention at any trailside campground, you'll notice that many backpackers (especially thru-hikers who may be on the trail for months at a time) tend to retire early. You'll see them discreetly slip into their tents one at a time until the place seems deserted, but eventually you may hear the gentle rustling of a food magazine's pages being turned one after another, plus some heavy breathing. No matter how curious you might become about exactly what is going on in there, it is considered extremely rude (and may be dangerous) to disturb one of these people in the midst of their private activities. Best to observe only from a distance, or to go elsewhere and leave well enough alone.
Q: What happens if you see an animal?
A: Like all of nature, animals were placed here for our use and enjoyment. Anyone familiar with backcountry ways is also familiar with animals, and knows how to put them to good use. Take moose, for example. Moose are common everywhere, even in the very centers of cities, though most people are not aware of this. The reason is that, despite what you may have heard about the moose's aggressive nature, the creature is actually extremely secretive and shy, and able to blend into its surroundings by changing the color of its pelt at a moment's notice, and a moose, even a large one, can simply vanish from view without even moving. There is an excellent chance that you have walked right past moose all your life without even noticing them. But if you do notice a moose, be sure not to make any comments about its appearance. They are muscular but sensitive and insecure animals, and their feelings are easily bruised. The most common reaction of a moose teased about the size or shape of its nose or ears, for example, is to charge and gore its tormentor, or trample him to death, only to regret the action after it is too late to do anything about it. This is where all the nonsense about aggressiveness comes from. It's really only self-defense. A much better course of action if you do see a moose is to coo softly and talk about how inspiring it is to finally encounter a real moose and recognize it for what it is — the largest and most magnificent species of deer on earth. This is sure to get you on the moose's Christmas list, or better yet, may get you a ride on its back, as happened to Theodore Roosevelt, a man who was, you may recall, once President. It doesn't get any better than that, except for snake juggling, but you have to join a church to do that.
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Me? Me too.
How about the best long story about the most interesting of all long walks?
You can grab it.
It's the BBC audio presentation of J. R. R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" (LOTR).
I bought this on cassette tapes when it first came out. It's still available, at various prices, in various conditions, on CD or even on tape, if you want to spend enough time digging around on Amazon.com or elsewhere.
But CD? Tape?
When I gave up the apartment I had lived in for 18 years and 11 months and moved out of the U.S., I had a little cassette player that I had bought after my $2000 stereo system died. It was one of the last in the world it seemed. I had bought it as insurance, and before moving I wanted to digitize my tapes while I could, but the player decided not to work any more either, so I had a box of tapes, useless, and now long discarded (donated to the local "Friends of the Library").
So what then?
A few weeks ago I decided to search around online because why not?
Bingo.
I grabbed the whole 13-hour series. Twice. Thirteen hours worth of BBC-quality dramatization, performed by real talent. Such as...
Michael Hordern as Gandalf
Peter Woodthorpe as Gollum
Ian Holm as Frodo
John Le Mesurier as Bilbo
Robert Stephens as Aragorn
All the way down to Shagrat and Gorbag
I found this on SoundCloud, and another full copy at the Internet Archive. I downloaded both to be sure I got it everything at the best quality available. (I have only one working ear, and that used to be my bad ear. Life, it can bite.)
The quality is not the best, when listened to online, through my browser (boo). But. I found that the sound quality is excellent off the downloaded mp3 files when played through the VLC media player that I use, even for me (yay) with seriously degraded hearing (nother boo). The total file size for both sets together came to 974 MB, about half that if you choose only one set. The SoundCloud files are larger, and so might be better quality.
Recommended for anyone who may have read the book, and who thought that the movie series was pretty good. Compared the the BBC's work though, the movie series is complete crap. Comic book level crap. This is the actual real adult-level deal.
VLC is a free and open source cross-platform multimedia player and framework that plays most multimedia files as well as DVDs, Audio CDs, VCDs, and various streaming protocols.
Just as an unrelated teaser, I also found 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' a year or two back, and grabbed those audio files as well, while they were available. Stellar production. Now mostly forgotten. Very little walking in the story, but much intelligence. Douglas Adams
Have extra info to add? Send email to sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
See if that helps.
Me? Still wondering if monkeys really have more fun.
On the way to 14,000 feet, above most of the atmosphere...
Hostages.
Zona de Recreación para Senderismo. Check. That's what we came for.
Unloading, and releasing the hostages. Soon after, they all made a break for it.
'You are here', but where is that? OK, west of Cuenca. But where is Cuenca?
Ah. 'No enceder fogatas'. Luckily I never do. And unlike the U.S., in Ecuador, if you are caught with an unauthorized firearm or an authorized one where it shouldn't be, you can go to prison for 15 years.
Starting elevation: 4166 masls or 13,668 feet. OK 'meters above sea level'. Check. That shortens the hike up to 14,000 feet quite a bit. And that 'msnm' is 'metros sobre el nivel del mar'.
Shade, just one meter higher, behind the sign.
After a lot of stairs we encounter tourists.
But looking back down it seems like we've already accomplished something.
Now, if only someone knew how to cross the fence, we could get out there.
Yes, there.
But it does look a bit scrubby.
And over here — mountains.
And over there too. We're so close, but that damn fence has us stymied.
No one knows how, but suddenly we broke free. Or they did, and left me behind. Maybe because I make such a good behinder.
It's not easy to get here, even by road. Makes you dizzy.
What do you mean 'we're lost?' Speak for yourself, Mr Guide Person.
See? How can you be lost out here? Just follow the clouds. Clouds are never lost, and there's plenty of water.
And fun plants. Is this a plant?
No, the guidebook said 'Go left at the big rock'. Might be that one. Let's go sniff it.
Anyway, the scenery is good. There's some now.
And there are flowers to eat, so we won't suffer from any yellow pigment deficiencies.
Maybe the hawks know which way to go.
Quick! Through here. Pretend you didn't see anything.
Then if we do get to the top, will there still be air?
Moss. Where there's moss, there's air, right? Is this moss?
This isn't moss. Maybe we made another wrong turn.
Yeah, well, time to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
Which seems to do the trick, because this here spot on top is 14,000 feet.
Although Mr Guide Person prefers not to be seen with us, or something.
Or maybe he's hoping to be hit by lightning.
OK gang. Take a good look — when we head back, remember to turn either left or right at that notch over there.
And don't eat these.
Or sit on this unless you're wearing pants.
Or put any of these up your nose.
Or share your secrets in front of this stuff.
And above all, definitely do not hug the bushes.
Look familiar? Anybody? We came in this way, right?
Or was it that way? Did we remember to turn right or turn left back at the notch?
Hmmm.
Let's continue discussing it, then do something and hope we get back home after a while. Lady in the Cusco hat — you go first.
Is this thing getting closer? />
OK, so we're not alone after all, but who are they?
Over there. Over there? Over there! Definitely.
Huh. You don't say.
Ditto.
Meanwhile, this thing slowly creeps closer, feelers twitching.
Hey, y'all — Behinder here. Wait for me at least a little. Please? I want to go home too.
OK. (Like there's anywhere else to go.)
Which is how we got up here, but somehow it's easier in this new direction.
Yes, follow.
Ah. The highlight of every gringo event: lunch. Trucha frita, $2,50, courtesy of Rancho Hermanos Prado.
