A rustic, natural accessory to liven up the decor of each and every bog it blesses.
Organically grown, hand sawn, individually laid, the bog log is also a boon for hikers, shielding them from contact with the mucky wet evils they must travel over.
Q: Want color?
A: Have we got colors for you! (Sorry, only gray available at this time.)
Q: Need a special width to support those generous-sized feet of yours?
A: No problem! (Sorry, no choice of sizes available right now.)
Q: Want an extra long log to span that extra yucky pit?
A: You came to the right place! (Sorry, random lengths only today.)
Q: How about an extra stable log to keep you from flipping over and going down for the count head first into that unspeakable, yawning miasma?
A: Terrific! Glad you asked for it! (Sorry, our factory cannot currently process this type of request.)
Q: Have more questions?
A: Great! We're here to help you in any way we can! Just email us! (Sorry. System down for maintenance at this time. Expected back online by 6:00 p.m., August 27, 2033.)
Need even more info? Please re-read this post.
Source: How to talk in the woods.
As always, Effort or Eff it. No sniveling.