Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Definitions: Bog Log

A rustic, natural accessory to liven up the decor of each and every bog it blesses.

Organically grown, hand sawn, individually laid, the bog log is also a boon for hikers, shielding them from contact with the mucky wet evils they must travel over.

Q: Want color?

A: Have we got colors for you! (Sorry, only gray available at this time.)

Q: Need a special width to support those generous-sized feet of yours?

A: No problem! (Sorry, no choice of sizes available right now.)

Q: Want an extra long log to span that extra yucky pit?

A: You came to the right place! (Sorry, random lengths only today.)

Q: How about an extra stable log to keep you from flipping over and going down for the count head first into that unspeakable, yawning miasma?

A: Terrific! Glad you asked for it! (Sorry, our factory cannot currently process this type of request.)

Q: Have more questions?

A: Great! We're here to help you in any way we can! Just email us! (Sorry. System down for maintenance at this time. Expected back online by 6:00 p.m., August 27, 2033.)

Need even more info? Please re-read this post.

Source: How to talk in the woods.

As always, Effort or Eff it. No sniveling.