Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Definitions: Cant

Cant is an LSD-like substance that affects rabbits.

The really interesting thing about it though is that it does not cause hallucinations but actually turns the whole animal itself into an hallucination.

Though bunnies are not meat eaters, in certain areas of the American west they do inadvertently consume a few cantankerous beetles in season.

The larva of this insect (known as the cantankerous worm) resides deep underground where it feeds exclusively on secretive fungi in protected burrows, and acquires what should be a lethal dose of toxins.

It carries these into adulthood, when the cantankerous beetle emerges to mate.

At these times, and at these times only, a few beetles may be munched by clueless bunnies.

Of course most of these bunnies expire immediately.

Some make it as far as a nearby highway where they simply liquefy and collapse into flat, rubbery, furry pads, dying and drying on the asphalt.

You may have seen a few of these on your travels.

However the rare rabbit is only tainted by the toxin, not killed, and instead of dying becomes a hopping hallucination bearing large antelope-like horns.

This is known locally as the jackalope and is thought to be a hoax.

So very not true, my friend.

Jackalopes (antelabbits, aunt bennies, Wyoming thistled hares, stagbunnies) are as real as that evil morning that follows New Year's Eve.

However this isn't the ultimate.

Seldom, but every now and then, and even then still seldom, a bush bunny is almost totally immune to the poisons carried by cantankerous beetles, and even develops a taste for them.

These sturdy critters, after only a few extra meals, lose their horns and become slothful and overweight, eventually losing all their animal characteristics and entering a rotund sugary-sweet and aromatic vegetative state.

These are wild cantalopes. (Or cantaloupes, if you prefer a more traditional spelling. Anyhow, no matter how you slice them, they can't actually lope no more.)

Luckily for us the wild cantaloupe is both unspeakably toothsome and completely harmless, aside from a slight bitter aftertaste and possibly an occasional strand of residual fuzz.

And if that isn't the right definition for you, don't get huffy. Just say that as far as you're concerned, cant is the slope of a road or trail, or the sort of half-hearted rise toward its edge, sometimes known as camber or cross slope.

Road cants are usually higher on the outside of a turn so cars don't go flying off into random wheat fields, but trails don't have so many rules and take life easier and can lean any which way at all.

Happy now?

Source: How to talk in the woods.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Hoppy Happydays



Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

— We interrupt this blog with an important bulletin. —

It's that time of year again.

Now what?

Maybe I'll scratch for a while, and then go out to lunch.

But that would mean I'd have to get dressed.

This might require some thought.

Meanwhile, there's nothing better than spending some quiet time with a few close friends.

Here's a shot of my nearest and dearest buddies that expresses the old-time spirit of whatever day this is...

OK, right — feeding time, isn't it? I'll catch on one of these days.



Bye for now.

Beeeeeeep!

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Fresh, December 25

Faith is Torment Antarctica Cyclical.  Photos by Julieanne Kost  Visit site  ▷


Ars Technica How cooking vegetables changed humanity 10,000 years ago.  The truth is that many humans living 10,000 years ago were eating more vegetables and grains than meat.  Visit site  ▷


Atlas Obscura Do Not Eat, Touch, Or Even Inhale the Air Around the Manchineel Tree.  Meet America's deadliest tree. Found in Florida, of course.  Visit site  ▷


DNAinfo These Guys Surfed In Lake Michigan And Turned Into Human Icicles.  "It doesn't matter what the conditions are like as long as you have a smile on your face."  Visit site  ▷


The New York Times Polar Bears' Path to Decline Runs Through Alaskan Village.  The bears that come here are climate refugees, on land because the sea ice they rely on for hunting seals is receding.  Visit site  ▷


Socks Visualizing Land: Works by Matthew Rangel.  Rangel's works reveal how human beings shape and experience landscape, showing the contrast between the segmentation of a territory in different properties and its natural features.  Visit site  ▷


American Long Distance Hiking Association — West Gazette (quarterly newsletter).  Best Soaks. Tree Lovers Guide. Shires & Tarptent. Idaho Centennial Trail. Lowest 2 Highest.  Visit site  ▷


Adventure Journal Discovering a Secret Camp in a Hidden Spot.  This alcove housed people once. Against the wall, two wooden panniers for hauling all this stuff sit beneath a rough-scratched date: 1942.  Visit site  ▷


El Taraumara The Highlands // Las Alturas.  If you wish to see the valleys, climb to the mountain top.  Visit site  ▷


The Outdoor Society Surviving Logging: The Return of the Olympic Forests.  Recovering from the heyday of the logging industry, hillsides and valleys, ridge lines and fields have once again become filled with trees.  Visit site  ▷


Stick's Blog What if I Had to Buy All New Gear!  So, follow along and check it out.  Visit site  ▷


Section Hiker Readers Choice Hiking and Backpacking Gear Awards — 2016.  Thousands of SectionHiker.com readers provided input for this year's Readers' Choice awards which are based on reader recommendations collected during the reader surveys, gear raffles, and articles we publish year-round.  Visit site  ▷


Section Hiker Mid-Atlantic Mountain Works Marcy 20 Quilt Review.  I've taken the Marcy down to 20 degrees myself and feel it could go lower, but your metabolism and mileage may vary.  Visit site  ▷


Sweetwilder ULA Rain Kilt — 1 year review.  Does this kilt look ridiculous? Yes. Does it make others laugh at you on the trail? Yes. Does it work extremely well? Yes!  Visit site  ▷


Hike Bike Travel Hiking in the Andes: Peru's Spectacular Alpamayo Circuit.  I did this trip self-supported years ago and still look back at my time in these stunning mountains with wonder.  Visit site  ▷


PilgrimChris Camping: To Pee or Not to Pee....  As I grow older, I find my physical attributes changing.  Visit site  ▷


The Hiking Life Books for Hikers and Backpackers.  They represent a mixture of educational and philosophical texts; with a sprinkling of humour and social commentary thrown into the literary mix.  Visit site  ▷


Ultralight and Comfortable Lazy mans Snickers bar.  These homemade bars might not be the "real" thing, but according to my super senses, these are better.  Visit site  ▷


PMags Gear review: Booster PAC ES5000 Jump Starter.  If you travel to remote trailheads you should have one of these items.  Visit site  ▷


The Adirondack Almanack The Outside Story: Carpenter Ants.  The one thing they aren't, is consumers of wood.  Visit site  ▷


Inga's Adventures Sierra Designs Tensegrity 1 FL is a light, roomy tent for solo hikers.  This is my preferred tent when I am hiking solo because of the light weight and compact size.  Visit site  ▷


Adventures In Stoving Calculating the Fuel Needed for a Trip.  Think it through and bring the the amount you feel comfortable with.  Visit site  ▷


CAIRN This Simple Idea Will Change How You Adventure.  Gobi Gear, an outdoor gear startup that's changing the game for adventurers who could use a little more organization in their lives.  Visit site  ▷


Rambling Hemlock Winter Solstice.  Mancos Canyon in the Ute Mountain Tribal Park in southwestern Colorado holds several sun calendars that mark the solstices. Our special winter solstice tour took us to see these unique petroglyphs.  Visit site  ▷


Adirondack Explorer Summer bad news for bears.  "The bear knew what it was doing, that it could walk up and people would leave food for it, and then it could go to the next group."  Visit site  ▷


Dave and Amy Freeman A Year in the Wilderness.  On September 23, 2015, Dave and Amy Freeman embarked on a yearlong adventure in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness to protect the Boundary Waters from proposed sulfide-ore copper mining.  Visit site  ▷


Outside Online Sleeping Alone in the Woods While Female.  I began to talk with other adventurous ladies about my fear of sleeping outdoors by myself, and to my surprise, I heard similar stories from some of the toughest women I know.  Visit site  ▷


Wandering On The Edge 2017 We Rise Up.  Sunrise in the Sonoran desert.  Visit site  ▷


Gear Junkie Hiker For Hire: LA-Based 'People Walker' Is Real Service.  In a world where puppy psychiatry is a real practice, "People Walker" is now a job title.  Visit site  ▷


Pacific Crest Trailside Reader Skip the Latest Star Wars Episode and Watch a PCT Movie.  Billy Goat's homespun perspective on life. Donna Saufley's heartfelt words. Scott Williamson who has spent more time walking the PCT than anyone else ever. Carsten Jost's back injury. Jen and Brian's mid-hike marriage.  Visit site  ▷


Pacific Crest Trail Association You should know about Valley fever.  A fungus that lives in the soil throughout the Southwest causes this terrible lung infection.  Visit site  ▷


The Ultimate Hang Making a Tarp Repair.  Making repairs is actually quite easy, thanks to modern adhesive patches on the market. I made a short video to show how I do it.  Visit site  ▷


Ultralight and Comfortable A happy minimalist Christmas.  I have literally met people who take out massive loans in order to buy a bunch of garbage for their friends and families, and in the end feel just as empty after Christmas as before.  Visit site  ▷


TTBOOK Animals in Winter. [audio]  What could we learn from a walrus who spends the winter munching shrimp below 30 feet of polar ice? Or from frogs who survive the entire season awake, but frozen solid?  Visit site  ▷


Scoutmastercg Backpack Basics Infographic.  Basic information on choosing the right backpack.  Visit site  ▷


The Drifter Collective The Beauty Behind a Misadventure.  "Darlin' enjoy the sweet stuff in life."  Visit site  ▷


Miguel Marquez Outside Vicarious Yelling Station.  Yelling as loudly as possible can temporarily relieve the symptoms of stress.  Visit site  ▷


so says eff Hoodoo McFiggin's Christmas.  By Stephen Leacock, from Literary Lapses, published in 1910.  Visit site  ▷


As It Happens 'Fireside Al' reads Frederick Forsyth's 'The Shepherd'.[audio 32:22]  The year is 1957. An RAF pilot is heading home from Germany for Christmas. Fog sets in, and all radio communication is lost. As we have nearly every Christmas Eve since 1979, As it Happens presents Fireside Al's classic reading of "The Shepherd", by Frederick Forsyth.  Visit site  ▷


— Links to external images are removed after one week. —


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Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Taking Steps

What's a prisoner to do?

Pace.

Luckily, my cell is large. I can take big steps.

I have room to rattle around aimlessly between the walls. I can go out the door, hit the street, and as long as I don't get lost, I'm OK. But this isn't really hiking, let alone backpacking, which I miss.

I spent most of the summer back in the U.S., sort of randomly backpacking around Washington State, living in a car I bought in July and sold in September, parked in nooks I found in the woods or in state parks when not on the trail. It was good enough. My time was limited and I didn't have any real plans other than to be there and enjoy summer.

My time was limited because I'm in the middle of a sort of probationary period defined by the Ecuadorian government. I'm kind of a refugee, a refugee from winter, so I'm now an Ecuadorian resident. An official, legal, recognized Ecuadorian resident. For the third time. Yeah, right — did this before. Blew it up twice. On my third round now. They let you do that.

The deal is, if you meet the requirements, which in my case is being able to prove that I have a permanent lifetime income of at least $800 a month, and no criminal history and so on, then it's basically a matter of filling out the paperwork and waiting a couple of months, and then you're in. You can stay. Forever. You can even vote. Such a deal.

And the climate here is crazy good.

Typical temperatures:

  • Overnight low: 50° F (10° C)
  • Daytime high: 68° F (20° C)

Wind: not bad, usually light. Sunshine: YES! Rain: Now and then, around 35 inches per year, or 889 mm, but things usually dry up shortly after a brief shower.

I'm also a former burrowing mammal from North Dakota (Land of the Frozen Dead), who moved to western Washington in 1979 and was amazed that winter never came that year. Things got darker and cooler and wetter and then started getting brighter and warmer and dryer. Summer turned to fall, which turned to spring, and then summer again. Wow. No winter, even though I grew my usual fur in anticipation, out of lifelong habit.

It was like that for a long time. A real treat for someone who grew up where the weather could kill you dead any time of the year, but especially in winter. Winter is an OK season too, but not eight months of it. That's nuts.

Well, eight months of cold or at least cool weather. In North Dakota my favorite month was October, when everything got dry and crispy and clean — no bugs, no snakes, no poison ivy, no humidity, no heat, no storms. Just progressively colder, and mostly calm-ish. Cool trending toward frosty trending toward frozen.

After that was November, which was more of the same, but a little closer to the killing edge, and then December and the holiday stuff, and after that January. I'm not sure what January is good for, but it was right in there like clockwork.

And then after January things got cold. Seriously, truly, uncompromisingly.

February was usually the coldest month in North Dakota. Brighter but colder. It's a characteristic of continental climates. There's a lag. It's like the earth way out there doesn't quite know what's going on, a communications lag or something, so the earth is always a couple of months behind, and keeps getting colder even after the sun begins getting hotter again. It's a thing. You have to deal with it. Or you die.

The last winter I lived in North Dakota, I worked outside. Delivering lumber and other building supplies by truck, around town. Just local driving. I walked to work. The coldest day was in February. Minus 35° F in the morning, minus 7 for the day's high (-37° and -22° C, respectively). Chilly. Not windy though. When it's that cold, at least the wind gives up and stays home in bed, so overall, not so bad. But North Dakota winters go on for friggin ever. That's the deal. You get tired of it.

And then you get older and it's not fun any more. So I left.

And after a few decades in western Washington I got tired of the gray winter skies. True, you can get by wearing only a windbreaker for most of most every winter (and by carrying an umbrella), but you start to go crazy too. In western Washington, it's the same kind of deal as in North Dakota, but with gray skies and drizzle instead of world-killing cold, world-killing cold and wind.

In western Washington, endless humidity and drippy skies drive you nuts by around January 4th, but things don't clear up until mid-July. Yeah, right. July 12th or 13th. I forget which. One day or the other. Like someone flips a switch. After that it's summer. Summer, and it all seems worth it once again. Summer's a killer in western Washington. In a good way. Best summers ever, anywhere. Usually lasting until the third week of October. After that, you start to see some rain again. Then more rain. Then November. November is the stormiest month, especially around Thanksgiving, but it sort of feels cozy. You get to stay indoors and eat stuff and watch the world blow around outside and the ground is suddenly covered in colorful leaves.

Which begin rotting pretty quickly. So they liquefy and then there is more rain and every day is a gray day, and later on sometime there will be a nice sunny day and you feel good again and then it rains for another two weeks after that, and so on. Yeah, right.

I spent several years living in Bellingham. Since I was busy starting over, learning math and physics and such I didn't pay much attention to the weather until I read the newspaper headline one day: Sun Visible for First Time in 60 Days (paraphrasing here, but a true story — from about 1982). It was actually front-page news.

It does make you crazy after a while, so when I got old enough I figured Hey, enough already, and moved to Ecuador.

And then got bored, and moved back, and then got bored with that and moved back to Ecuador and got residency a second time. And then got bored, and moved back to the U.S. and got bored with sitting around all winter (but summer was nice), and got a severe case of the galloping dreads looking at my second winter back there, and moved back to Ecuador and got residency an effing third time, and now here I am again. (Slow learner, wot? Cost me a bunch too, but money's free these days — it just rolls into my bank account toward the end of every month, so it's only numbers. I don't really have enough to live in the U.S. any more, but here I'm actually rich-ish. Can't complain. I'm free to do stupid things now and don't have to get up and go to work and be around morons any more.)

Oh hang on — I can complain.

First, I'm a dick. But then, someone has to be, so deal with it. I don't care. (Yes I do, but I'm trying not to whine.)

Second, there's this problem with Ecuadorian law. See, if you get residency, you have this probationary sort of period that goes on for two years. For those first two years you can't be out of the country for more than 90 days each year, or you lose your residency, and I've done that already, so this time I'm biting the bullet and living with it.

I was gone what was it, around 82 days in 2016. My anniversary date was December 7, so I have another 251 days to go until I'm totally permanent. After that I can be out of the country for 18 months at a time. That would work. Meanwhile, I can be gone up to 90 days again between now and next December 7. Happy Pearl Harbor Day, me.

After I see another year go by I can spend eight or nine months backpacking while maybe living in a van, and three or four months here, enjoying not-winter. (By the way, the UV index for today is 10. That means if you spend more than 12 seconds out in the sun your skin starts smoking and bubbling. After a minute or so your skin is fully cooked and starts to slide off. Been there, done that too. A week or two back the UV index hit 13, which will take paint off a cattle truck. But them's the benefits of living at 8000 feet or 2438400 mm. And no bugs neither.) For the rest of this week, the UV index will be just extreme. I'll write you when it's over.

But hey I'm bored again, even with all this bubbling, smoking skin going on.

The big humpy part of my day, the pinnacle, the acme, peak, summit, crest, crown, tiptop, the height, the supreme pointy part, is lunch. I do lunch now. That's my day, most of it.

After lunch, it's downhill. Not a whole lot going on, unless I go for a walk. So I walk too.

But I'm in a city. This isn't like hiking, let alone backpacking.

There are places I don't want to go, and places I can't go, and other places I shouldn't go, and then there's night. Days are relatively short here, year-round, since we're 2.54 degrees south of the equator. Sunrise at 6 a.m., sunset at 6 p.m., and then it's dark, and anyone with any sense doesn't go walking around after dark, and if you do, you quickly find out why not, so it's lunch and daytime tramping for me. For now. Though I'm still bored. And haven't figured out where or when I'll spend my 90 days of freedom during the next 12 months.

So I'm back where I started: What's a prisoner to do? Pace. Luckily, my cell is big.

And it has high walls. Maybe I can't quite escape, but I can climb up the walls. That's what I do sometimes.

"Cuenca" means "basin". The city is in a football-shaped valley. Officially, it's "Santa Ana de los cuatro ríos de Cuenca", Saint Ann of the four rivers of the basin, whatever that's about. Basin, watershed, catchment area, socket, bowl, hollow — take your pick. Valley. The city is in the bottom of a bowl-shaped valley.

To the north, the nearer valley wall. It's a short steep walk up to an overlook. Then it's a short steep walk back down. A decent workout that takes around 45 minutes if a person meanders around somewhat. Not too bad, but not a hike. But there are stairs. I like the stairs.

You can walk along streets and sort of make it an up-the-ramp walk or go the other way and end the ascent with about a hundred feet of stone steps (30m). Well, maybe 70 feet, but it looks intimidating from the bottom. Maybe only 50 vertical feet. Who am I, some kind of damn expert or something? It's a workout. Which is what I need. I go up and then come back down, huffing and puffing and snorting and farting with the effort.

But that's the toy workout. Nearby, accessible, quick, easy. Something I do when it's late and I have to do something but can't do the real thing.

The other one is the real thing: The Turi Trudge. This one can kill you. I love it.

Instead of going north, go south. See, the deal is, there is another valley wall over there. Conveniently, valleys have two walls. This second one is farther off and it's higher, and has extra special benefits.

Benefit Number One is, you get to tromp across the full width of the city. (Well, I live kinda to the north a bit, on the edge of what they call the "Historic Center", or el centro, so my walk covers most of the city's width.)

Benefit Number Two is, you get to work on your traffic-dodging skills. Which you have to do any time you step out of your door, anyhow, but let's gloss over that, 'K? And pretend that this here mess-a-words is, like, you know, imposing and important stuff. And that this is extra-special traffic-dodging.

So it's about a two-mile walk to Turi from where I live, starting with the across-town part and vehicle-avoidance, which includes running for your life and swearing, and all kinds of other fun things. But then you get there, to the south side of the city. And then the fun starts, because things suddenly get vertical.

Benefit Number Three is, stairs. Lotsa stairs. Stairs going up. To Turi. Turi is a sort of little town on the edge of town, and there's a church up there. (There's a church everywhere here — can't swing a dead cat without hitting several of them, even with your eyes closed on a cloudy day.)

Turi must be 500 feet up from the last road crossing, let alone the main part of Cuenca. Even in metric that begins to sound a bit imposing: 150 meters or thereabouts (152, eh? In case you're literal).

Cuenca from Turi.

OK, so first you walk the full length of Avenida Solana across town, and if you've managed to dodge all the deathtrap intersections, you get past the last traffic circle and there you are at Bocatti Tres Puentes. ("Hacemos lo que mas te gusta". OK, whatever.) In case you're in a deli mood and want to stop there and buy raw meat and just go home again. Again, whatever, all right? Get over it.

Which you do (get over it) by veering left and crossing the street. If possible. Because traffic, etc.

And then you take a right down the next street, and you begin ascending just about there. No fooling. By now the time for fooling is over. It's about to get serious.

And if you didn't think I meant it about traffic, well a year ago a bus ran into my hotel. Crash. Just like that. Slammed right into the corner of the building, maybe because it thought the hotel was issuing a challenge by not running for its life, or simply out of cussedness. You never know around here. Bang. Lucky for me I'm in an apartment in a separate building out back, so the first I new about all this was when I went out to to go lunch. (See the importance of lunch now? It teaches you things, like WTF is going on out here? I head out for lunch on a normal, quiet Sunday and here's this damn bus crossways in the intersection with its teeth sunk into the hotel and police all over, and about a million people all standing around waiting to see what will happen next, and all kinds of whatnot and you never know.)

So if you live long enough to make it that far, you go about a block more and there's a street going off to the right but you make a tiny jog left and enter what looks like a private driveway but isn't, and after another block the street ends and the stairs begin, but these are just the pretend stairs. They're there to fool you. To bluff you into going the other way, which will take you to a dirt road leading around the shoulder of the mountain and into some sketchy semi-farmland territory where it would be all too likely to find yourself facing a pack of angry dogs who need some tooth exercise. So guess who went that way once and lived to tell about it? Luckily the dogs were on vacation or something that time, but I'm not pushing my luck by going that way again.

Anyhow, the stairs.

Much nicer.

Houses on either side, with their gates and walls topped by barbed wire, but you mind your own business and stick to the stairs and that's work enough. Don't mess with them people and their barb wire, prolly they won't mess with you.

Just start climbing. Stop to catch your breath, turn around, and there's the city behind you, getting lower as you get higher, but that's not why you're here, so you get back to the stairs and climb some more, and after you're about ready to die you keep climbing and then you're over the hump and descend to the autopisto.

And it is a pisser. Four lanes, divided, death trap. But that's part of the fun, innit? Vehicles coming at you faster than light, with evil glints in their bumpers. You cross if you can.

After that, it's another block or so, and then another, smaller road to cross. Also a death trap, but what isn't around here?

And then...

A crude view of the Turi climb. (Can't find nothin better.) About a million times tougher than it looks.

The Stairs. The Real Climb. Death On A Stick. Pant-O-Rama. The Ascent Of Endless Pain. Around 500 feet up and no one to get 'er did but you and you feets. You there, with the legs and the attitude: Take this, Smartass. Just try.

So you do.

And after you've been there a few times (up once, down once), you think about doing two laps. Up once, down once, up again, down again or die puking. And then, later, you wonder about doing three laps. Hey, since you're already there...

You know. Life — something you do to kill time while waiting to die. Relieves parts of the boredom and whatnot and it's exercise.

So if I can't get out and do real hikes, or go backpacking right now, at least I've got this.

OK, sure, I should have friends and do stuff but I'm a dick, remember? So I don't get out much. I'm awkward, like a turd at a pizza party. No good at hanging out with other people and enjoying life. Haven't found them other people that gotta be here somewheres that I can do stuff with. I do know a couple of cats around here, and they're nice, but they've been avoiding me lately too, and one bites, but without them I'd have no friends at all, so I just suck it up and carry bandages when I go a-visiting.

I'm mostly deaf too. Did I mention that? On top of the rest I'm mostly deaf now too.

Yeah, right. More fun stuff. Mister Dick-O-Rama.

Woke up May 15, 2012 and my left ear no longer worked. I happens. Leaving me with my right ear, which is only slightly more useful for hearing with than a rusty shoehorn. So I'll never be any good at Spanish, or even at learning Spanish, which makes me even more of a dick whenever anyone on the street stops me and asks for directions, or just the checker at Coral or SuperMaxi trying to be helpful, and saying something, or asking me something, and I'm standing there like an ugly (though tiny) moose, with my tongue hanging out, all puzzled-looking and dopey. (Tiny — at least I'm not ugly and huge. Then again, neither is a tapeworm and you know how much fun they are.) And with moose, you know, you never know, even with the small ones, so I scare people once they catch on that I'm not actually a reasonably predictable human thing. So life in paradise. Ain't all you'd expect sometimes. For me nor them.

Somebody's working on setting up a Hash House Harriers chapter here, and that might help. "Drinkers with a running problem," they call themselves. Active people. I can't run (back problems) but I can walk like crazy, so maybe I could fake it. We'll see. No matter how fast they try to run away, there I'll be, coming up the backstretch. There's always hope, even for me. Woot!

Does anybody say Woot! any more?

Maybe just me.

Later then, if you haven't had enough yet. Maybe see you on the steps.

(Anything here you don't understand besides me, it's on Wikipedia.)

P.S.: Hey! Wanna go hiking sometime? Just kidding. Ha! Bite me.

Bye.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Fresh, December 18

 Lake Simcoe Icefishing:  How To Survive A Fall Thru Ice.  Grey ice is unsafe. The grayness indicates the presence of water.  Read this...


 Men's Journal:  The Cold Cure: What Freezing Water and Extreme Altitude Can Do For Our Health.  I breathe in the success in Kilimanjaro's thinnest air. I take 30 breaths and I'm hot. So I take off my shirt to enjoy the cold.  Read this...


 The Art of Manliness:  How to Treat Hypothermia.  The reality is that hypothermia is fairly easy to get.  Read this...


 Time:  The Best Astronomy Photos of 2016.  10 images from the shortlist for the Insight Astronomy Photographer of the Year.  Read this...


 Atlantic Monthly:  Winners of the 2016 National Geographic Nature Photographer of the Year Contest.  National Geographic has announced the winners of its annual photo contest.  Read this...


 Atlantic Monthly:  2016: The Year in Volcanic Activity.  Although this has been a relatively average year for the world's active volcanoes, the activity that did take place was still spectacular.  Read this...


 BBC News:  Wildlife Photographer of the Year — People's Choice.  Scroll down to see all 25 images, pre-selected by the museum from almost 50,000 submissions from 95 countries.  Read this...


 the guardian:  Stepping back 3.6m years: footprints yield new clues to humans' ancestors.  Tracks found by accident on proposed museum site in Tanzania were preserved in volcanic ash dampened by ancient African rains.  Read this...


 PetaPixel:  This 4K Aerial Timelapse Inspires Fresh Awe of Iceland's Epic Landscape.  So how did Evosia Studios manage to create something that stands out and inspires fresh awe for this beautiful country? They took to the skies...  Read this...


 PetaPixel:  Long Exposure Photos of 'Fog Waves'.  For the past 8 years, San Francisco-based photographer Nick Steinberg has been obsessed with shooting fog.  Read this...


 PetaPixel:  A Photographer Dives Into Norway's Underwater Atlantis.  Back in 1908, a landslide in Western Norway blocked off an entire valley, flooding farmland.  Read this...


 National Geographic Society:  Meet the 10 Most Inspiring Adventurers of the Year.  Get to know all 10.  Read this...


 Astronomy Picture of the Day:  Meteors over Four Girls Mountain.  In central China.  Read this...


 Panamericana 2016:  Breathtaking Patagonia — where to begin exploring?  We decided to skip the entire Torres del Paine national park and travelled further north directly to the Los Glaciares national park.  Read this...


 The Adirondack Almanack:  New Study Details Recreationists' Harmful Effects On Wildlife.  Nature-based, outdoor recreation is the most widespread human land use in protected areas and is permitted in more than 94 percent of parks and reserves globally.  Read this...


 Parasite of the Day:  Leucochloridium paradoxum (revisited).  Among the parasitic body-snatchers is Leucochloridium paradoxum — the infamous zombie snail parasite, also referred to as the "green brood sacs".  Read this...


 Section Hiker:  NEMO Sonic 0 Down Sleeping Bag Review.  A spacious cold weather sleeping bag that can be comfortably used by back or side sleepers.  Read this...


 Section Hiker:  How to Backpack in the Rain and Stay Reasonably Happy.  If you never hike in the rain, you're probably missing out on a lot of hiking days.  Read this...


 Adventures In Stoving:  What is a Remote Canister Gas Stove?  Why might this be important?  Read this...


 Charlie Knight:  How to Survive Your First Day on the PCT.  For me, the hardest step was around mile 1016 when I misjudged and slid down the side of a mountain.  Read this...


 The Outdoor Society:  Rediscover The Olympic's Bogachiel Rainforest.  Full of history, majestic forests and a lifetime of breathtaking rainforest views, the Bogachiel needs to be your next Olympic destination.  Read this...


 Outdoor Herbivore Blog:  Not Marketed as "Backpacking" Food: Everyday Grocery Items for the Trail.  If you want to treat yourself to a hot meal after a long day of exertion, you'd be surprised to know how many choices you have at your local grocery store.  Read this...


 The GearCaster:  Time to Ditch the Plastic Wrap and Baggies.  To help us cut down on our use of plastics, Patagonia partnered with Bee's Wraps to introduce a sustainable alternative to plastic wrap and baggies.  Read this...


 Brown Girl on the (P)CT:  Day 101 - Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad.  CRASH CRASHITY-CRASH CRASH CRASH. It's 1am, and it sounds like deer are failing miserably at being quiet.  Read this...


 Backpacker Magazine:  Advice From a Hiker Who Finished the Pacific Crest Trail.  Amanda "Zuul" Jameson: What it's really like to live the life of an end-to-ender.  Read this...


 Backpacker Magazine:  Pass/Fail: Thru-Hike the Pacific Crest Trail Without a Stove.  Can our PCT thru-hiker give up hot meals for 2,650 miles?  Read this...


 As the Raven Flies:  Loss of Motivation.  I gave up on the PCT this year. I left the boyfriend behind in Anacortes and started a new adventure.  Read this...


 UltraPedestrian:  Why I Don't Carry A First Aid Kit & What I Carry Instead.  In a real life first aid situation, it's not the quality, quantity, or type of supplies that make the difference; it's the brain that's putting them to use.  Read this...


 Jan's Jaunts and Jabberings:  Hiking with Geospatial PDF Maps.  Say WHAT?  Read this...


 Wilderness Stories:  Pacific Crest Trail — Questions and Answers.  "Welcome home! How does it feel? When did you come home? What was best? Did you see any wild animals? Were you ever afraid? Would you do it again? What are you gonna do now? How long did it take?"  Read this...


 Wilderness Stories:  A night about avalanche awareness.  It's chaos for a short while and then it stops. You can't move, you don't know what's up or down.  Read this...


 Fix:  How to pack for your first backpacking trip.  Learn the Art of Balance, Compression, and Accessibility!  Read this...


 The New York Times:  Hardy Divers in Korea Strait, 'Sea Women' Are Dwindling.  Kim Eun-sil, 80, figures she can work a few more years. "I can still manage under the sea," she said, warming her arthritic body at a fire.  Read this...


 Ideas:  The Sea Women.  South Korea's "sea women" have been harvesting commercial treasures from the ocean floor since the 4th century. With only a few tools and fishing baskets slung over their shoulders, these sunburnt and wrinkled grandmothers can dive up to 20 metres on a single breath. [audio 53:59]   Read this...


 The Rotherham Bugle:  Man With One Leg Wins Arse Kicking Contest.  John hopes that his success will inspire more one legged men to enter arse kicking contests.  Read this...


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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Definitions: Blood

Blood is the substance that carries nutrients to hair cells.

It is also useful for feeding mosquitoes, which make great pets.

Mosquitoes are easy to care for and require no training. They are barkless, faithful, and able to keep up with you on the trail.

And they self-replicate in the millions.

You could even go into business selling them online.

There's your idea.

Now run with it.

(Other critters available by special request.)


As always, Effort or Eff it. Your call. No sniveling.

Source: How to talk in the woods.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Fresh, December 11

 Astronomy Picture of the Day:  Lightning over Colorado.  Have you ever watched a lightning storm in awe? Join the crowd.  Read this...


 Cereal:  Matanuska Glacier.  Here, the climate is subarctic, with long cold winters and short cool summers setting the seasonal tempo. A palette of pale azures and powder blues colour the scene.  Read this...


 National Geographic Society:  Four Million Commutes Reveal New U.S. 'Megaregions'.  Where do you fall on the map?  Read this...


 Travelling On Foot:  Pyramids.  I wanted to buy everything except that tent I didn't understand: "It's too tall" I was thinking, "it'll be awful in the wind".  Read this...


 Must Hike Must Eat:  Olive Oil and Sea Salt Dates.  It's that easy.  Read this...


 The Outdoor Society:  Seven Awesome Winter Activities Around Olympic National Park.  Home to the world's largest dam removal project.  Read this...


 Bedrock & Paradox:  Why I like the desert.  For those who spend enough time within the desert, and put down enough experiential anchor points that understanding becomes possible, obsession generally follows.  Read this...


 Pinoy Mountaineer:  Hiking matters #521: Volcan Concepcion in Ometepe Island, Nicaragua.  Past the forest, we reached a saddle that reminded me of Tarak Ridge, except that, instead of Manila Bay, we were facing Lake Nicaragua.  Read this...


 SectionHiker:  Columbia OutDry Ex ECO Rain Jacket Review.  Made with a new waterproof/breathable fabric called OutDry.  Read this...


 Old School Outfitter:  10 Photos From 2016 Adventures That Will Inspire You to Get Outdoors.  Maybe you'll find inspiration in one or more of these pictures for a future trip.  Read this...


 PMags:  High Plains in the winter — The Badlands.  It is a landscape ignored by my Americans. And most outdoors people.  Read this...


 The National Parks Girl:  Backpacking the Paria Canyon.  It sounded like exactly what I was looking for so I reserved a permit and we booked our flights to Las Vegas!  Read this...


 The GearCaster:  A Snowshoe Made Entirely from Foam.  Retail availability slated for Fall 2017. The price is expected to be $149 for the pair.  Read this...


 BoingBoing:  Breathtaking 4K timelapse of noctilucent clouds.  I thought they were just a 'sheet' of ice particles, but they are way more elaborate than that.  Read this...


 Sprinkles Hikes:  Smokies Wildfires - What It's Like to be Here Now.  Here is my experience in the Gatlinburg area in the past week.  Read this...


 Summit Register:  Plan it Like a Pro: Strengthening Your Pre-Season Backcountry Brain.  Simply logging days in the backcountry does not suffice as experience enough to keep you safe.  Read this...


 Old School Outfitter:  Gear Review: The Best Gear Duffles.  A sturdy duffle for organizing, hauling, and protecting your gear and clothing is invaluable.  Read this...


 Adventure Journal:  I'm Tired of Getting Shot At on Public Land.  Someone who decides to get in a little target practice on the public lands may not know if there is a trail, road, or recreation area close by. Some do not appear to care.  Read this...


 Pacific Crest Trailside Reader:  "Do More With Less" — A Review.  I loved the extensive trail footage. I appreciated the positive representation of the wonderful people who form the trail community.  Read this...


 The Pacific Crest Trailside Reader:  Another look at Alexander von Humboldt.  More than 200 years ago he painted a bleak future of humankind's eventual expansion into space, when humans would spread their lethal mix of vice, greed, violence and ignorance across other planets.  Read this...


 Hiker To Hiker:  Err on the side of YES.  Always err on the side of Going instead of Cancelling.  Read this...


 Jill Outside:  5 Degrees In Paradise.  One of the reasons we moved from California to Colorado was to live among winter again, but today was probably the first day of "real" winter.  Read this...


 Hiking For Her:  Hiking Nutrition News You Can Use.  Trail snacks = candy bars? Nah! That's just marketing hype! I mean REAL hiking nutrition news, hot off the press.  Read this...


 Hiking For Her:  Sports Drinks for Hikers: Better Than Water?  Let's take a hard look.  Read this...


 Across Utah! Hike Guide: Lower Muley Twist.  Lower Muley Twist is known for its amazing high walls and huge/deep undercuts which differentiates it from its nearby sibling Upper Muley Twist.  Read this...


 Lady On A Rock:  A Grand Canyon Thankgiving.  "Hey, you know what I felt like? I felt like a gnat..."  Read this...


 Ultralight and Comfortable:  Boil time: The most useless metric in backpacking.  As the title says...  Read this...


 Scottish Mountaineer:  Gear: Primus Winter Gas.  While summer backpackers will rave about alcohol stoves made from beer cans, try using one in a Cairngorm blizzard.  Read this...


 Hike Bike Travel:  10 of the Best Things to do in the Myvatn Area of Iceland.  Be warned. Myvatn means Midge Lake and once the summer hits the area is know for its swarms of tiny black flies.  Read this...


 Hiker To Hiker:  Prissy and Steve's Excellent Adventure.  Priscilla walked the Camino Frances on her own. She looked at the experience as Life at the speed of walking. It took her seven weeks all together.  Read this...


 Hiking Project Journal:  You Have One Body. Take Care of It.  Fundamentals are critical. By engraining healthier habits now, you are helping make hiking easier on your body down the road.  Read this...


 Outdoor Quest:  Topographic Map Symbols.  To view the USGS's complete listing go here [PDF].  Read this...


 Chris Townsend Outdoors:  Yosemite Valley to Death Valley: Food & Water.  Planning for both these is essential.  Read this...


 Adirondack Almanack:  Adirondack Winter: Hibernating Jumping Mice.  For roughly 6 months beginning sometime in mid-October.  Read this...


 Wasatch Will:  Uinta Highline Trail — Day 1.  Weather treated us well throughout the day making it a great start to what would be a fantastic trek.  Read this...


 distance makes...:  transformer.  A fun challenge: to build a minimalist fast pack that converts into a bridge hammock.  Read this...


 Rambling Hemlock:  Arizona Trail — Going Home.  It warms my heart to know there are still good people out there who will help out a stranger.  Read this...


 The Shooting Star:  Lake Atitlan, Guatemala: The Feeling That I've Found My Place on Earth..  As I waited for the ferry to transport me back to the outside world, the skies and waters burst into the colors of love; the last sunrise. For now.  Read this...


 Fixing Your Feet:  Tread Labs Insoles — A Review.  These are very unique insoles and I like them a lot.  Read this...


 Juxtapoz Magazine:  Wildlife Photographer of the Year @ the Natural History Museum in London.  Wildlife Photographer of the Year is on display at the Natural History Museum in London through September 17, 2017.  Read this...


 TheBackpacker.tv:  What I've learned in 20 years of backpacking.  No wonder I make sounds when I get out of a chair.  Read this...


 Predator Pee:  Coyote Urine — Wolf Urine — Fox Urine — Bobcat Urine — Mt . Lion Urine — Fisher Urine — Bear Urine.  FREE SHIPPING to USA, Canada & Mexico — All Major Credit Cards Accepted Plus PayPal too!  Read this...


 The Rotherham Bugle:  Buttock Tattoo Terror Lands Rotherham Pair In Hospital. "Next thing is, I sense a slight ripple in the buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston's whip, a hissing sound — and before I know what's happening, there's a flame shooting from her arse."   Read this...


 AwakenWithJP:  How to Become Gluten Intolerant.  Ultra Spiritual Life episode 12 - with JP Sears.  Read this...


 McSweeney's Internet Tendency:  We Kidnapped Real People, Not Actors, to See What They Thought of the All-New 2017 Chevy Equinox.  Their pleas for help, which could easily be answered by the built-in OnStar emergency vehicle assistance concierge, were instead drowned out by the 9-speaker Bose UltraBass™ sound system featuring SiriusXM Satellite Radio.  Read this...


 The Worst Things For Sale:  Bag of Unicorn Farts.  #1 on the best-seller list in its category.  Read this...


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Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Definitions: Aspect

(1) One of those little things. You can find them on your glasses or crawling up your nose.

Quite a few of these have teeny-tiny legs, and sometimes they wave at you from your food.

This can relieve the boredom of a long backpacking trip — one of those thousand-mile or two-thousand-mile jobs where you get out there and walk, and then do it again the next day and so on until you pick up a few rocks and carry them along so you have someone to talk to. Or so you can pound yourself in the head for a while to perk yourself up.

And then one day you're sitting down to have lunch, you're ready to eat it down in just about one gulp, and you notice that it's specky and the specky things are moving and you still have to eat it because if you don't you will die. Not just aspect — lots of spects. Lots.

(2) Trail designers and builders have a whole bunch of terms to distinguish themselves from random homeless people digging holes and messing around in the dirt. This is one.

Aspect (get a load of this one) is just the direction that a trail faces. That's it.

So stand on a trail and face the downhill side, and that direction is the aspect. Really.

The main effect this has on hiking is that trails on north-facing slopes are cooler than those facing south, so they stay snowed in longer, but can be more pleasant to hike on a hot summer day.

And the effect extends to trails with a westward aspect too because they catch more sun in the afternoon, getting warmer when things are already warm.

Trails with westward and eastward aspects are in between those with poleward (north) and equatorward (south) aspects. (In the northern hemisphere anyhow, on earth. Who knows what happens in those other places?)

Aspects and warmth, from coldest to hottest are: north, east, west, and south.

But for maximum warmth and comfort, nothing beats snuggling under a cozy quilt in front of a blazing fire with a generous dollop of rum in a fat glass.

Indoors.

Where it is clean and there are no bugs.

Or gearheads, come to think of it.


Source: How to talk in the woods.