Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Definitions: Established Camp Site

A basic established camp site is obvious because of devegetated ground.

Bonus features of the basic camp: noisy neighbors coming in late, leaving early, or staying up all night. Or all of the above.

Spilled or discarded food, human and pet feces, used toilet paper, crumpled beer cans, shreds of waste paper, lack of privacy, discarded plastic bags, and prowling night vermin are also available at no extra charge.

A deluxe established camp site has: convenience stores, fireplaces or fire pits, garbage cans or dumpsters, road access, marked parking spaces with gravel, asphalt, or concrete paving, picnic tables, piped in and potable water, raised platforms to set up tents on, reservation systems, restrooms with sinks and mirrors, showers (with or without hot water), toilets (pit or flush), utility hookups (gas, propane, water, electricity, sewer), and firewood (either free or for sale).

Extra-super-special bonus features: multi-lane highway noise, flashing headlights, sirens, aircraft racket, passing freight trains, gangs, wandering aggressive pets, random gunfire.

No mint on your pillow.


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Me? Plotting another escape attempt.