Wednesday, November 24, 2021



Undergarment worn next to the skin and under the outer garments. From "under" + "wear", so called because it is worn under one's clothing. (Someone spent decades figuring this one out for you.)

Synonyms: shreddies, underclothes, undergarments, undies, undos.

Example: "My underwear is what I wear under there, everywhere."

Clothing that's EZ-On, EZ-Off. Whatever that means, really. Could be good, could be not good.

It depends, but if you're home alone, as so many of us are, all the time, forever, with nothing to do anyway, that could be an advantage. Probably especially OK for those pre-season training days when you decide to pull your Exer-Haggis out of the freezer and do a bunch of lifts and stuff to try getting in shape again. If you are really that motivated. (Not all of us are.)

Other things you can do in your underwear:

  • Wonder what diseases you never heard of that water might cause.
  • Think about what to say to someone who has cancer, if you can't just avoid them.
  • Decide whether thinking positive thoughts or drinking more beer is ultimately better for health.
  • Resolve to be a better person, or learn how to fake it. And some other handy tricks.
  • Wonder why so many people laugh at you, or if it's only that invisible person who's always there behind you somewhere.
  • Make up your mind once and for all about dog toothpaste.
  • Plan to take a course on how to use bath salts, because you never know. (See item # 2. Could be useful there too.)
  • Try to remember the seven sleeping positions for couples who aren't talking this year and if it might just be better to get an inflatable cat.
  • Plan to do laundry soon.


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Me? Still wondering about that underwear-replacement tattoo.