Abdomen

(1) When applied to an insect, this term refers to the squishy back-end part that contains the digestive, sexual and pooping organs. And the breathing apparatus, if you can believe that. Basically, insects breathe with their butts. But then so do some of us, I guess. We know them as buttheads.

(2) The abdomen is the second most favorite body part of backpackers. It is home to the tummy region, which is where the beer and hamburgers go, or if you're still on the trail as you read this, the noodles and Snickers bars.

(3) Abdomen is a fancy word for gut, which is what you have if your mileage has been too low lately, because you're spending a lot of time in front of the TV keeping up with the Kardashians, but your appetite still thinks that it's way out there somewhere, all sweaty and huffing, on the verge of discovering a new continent.

(4) On the other hand, for hair fetishists, the abdomen is thought of with excitement as the soft expanse below the ribs and yet above the pubic area, strictly speaking, a virtual nature preserve for excess hair. What particularly stimulates them is that this hair sometimes arranges itself into a sort of line connecting the shoal of fuzziness surrounding the belly button to the potentially risky pubic hair triangle, a region fraught with complex and conflicting emotions, and seldom sighted in public.

(5) Not amoebas, not at all. Nothing to do with amoebas. Amoebas, shy little critters that they are, have enough trouble just spelling their name right side up, and don't need or want the extra complexity of dealing with either your abdominal regions or with hair, anyone's hair, and certainly not with hairy abdomens, now or ever.

 

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Me? Still trying to live down that incident with the lava lamp.

Slackpacker

(1) A laid-back-packer, someone who has a casual attitude toward long-distance backpacking and who is also usually self-sufficient, sometimes carrying a relatively heavy pack just because he wants to have certain important things along, like books.

But actually, no — far more to be like one of the following...

(2) The same as the above, in a way, kinda, but lazier. Someone who has his pack transported to the next campsite so he doesn't have to carry it. A backpacker who isn't really. Isn't really a backpacker. May carry a day pack while someone else shuttles his actual backpack for him. Some call this cheating. Others call it smart.

For instance: "Ed's a slackpacker. He'll take any shortcut, ride, or whatever to keep from walking, but he likes it that way."

(3) Anyone who fits between being a casual day hiker and a serious backpacker, whatever those terms mean. Expect your grade to reflect on the creativity of your answer.

(4) Someone who does a day's worth of hiking without a pack, and then hops in a car and drives home, maybe to finish the rest of the trail later. A form of section hiking but without the effort of carrying a pack.

(5) Someone who already ate all his food, whose pack is empty, and has his head stuck into your pack, looking for something tasty. A parasite, an obligate yogi. Someone who only wants to be your friend, while you want him only to be someone else's friend.

 

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Me? Been there, but then they moved it on me and left no forwarding address.

Gait Cycle

The period of time from the heel contact of one foot to the following heel contact of the same foot. (Is usually complete during any 24-hour period.)

Example: Ed's gait cycle was lunar, which was OK since he only hiked in the dark.

And if you want more, for some unhealthy reason, see the "Terminology of Human Walking" at (PDF)

 

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Me? Hard to say. Really hard to say. Probably best not to ask.

Hard-Surface Trail

(1) "Hard-Surface Trail" is a euphemism for "Paved Trail", which is a euphemism for "Urban Wasteland Unit". One of these is optimistically defined as a trail tread surfaced with some kind of hard, stabilized material. Lovely, right?

(2) A trail intended to serve multiple uses by providing stable, firm and slip-resistant surfaces, which are always the bestest. Surfacing materials include concrete, asphalt, crushed stones, or native soil with binders. True. Some call that a "trail".

These "trail" things have smooth enough surfaces for street bicycles, in-line skates, and strollers. Many of them are also classed as bicycle pathways which are intended to serve exclusively for pedestrians and bicyclists and form a right-of-way completely separate from motor vehicles. Unless you also get skateboarders, electric scooters, motor scooters, motorcycles, and so on.

(3) A thing longer than it is wide (which makes it a trail-like thing), connecting two points (the beginning and the end). Without the middle part doing the connecting, the ends tend to drift off and get into trouble, but the middle part sometimes has a life all its own as well, especially where "trail" and "multiple-use" and "paved" meet for a showdown.

A hard-surface trail is one that has a tread finished with asphalt, concrete, or anything else that won't wash away or wear down without a fight, and tends to be found in (yes) or near (still yes) cities. (If in doubt about how close you are to a city, you can look for broken glass and used needles.)

If you are interested in sharing your walking experience with street bicyclists, in-line skaters, baby-stroller-pushers, leashed and unleashed dogs, passed-out drunks, panhandlers, and lurking creeps, then a paved trail is a place where you can find excitement.

Hard-surface trails run in what are called "corridors", have pretty-well-defined design and construction requirements, and may close at night, or whenever either the drug dealing or gunfire reach unacceptable levels. But when all that subsides and you get out there you normally find something with a minimum width of 8 feet (2.4 m) having 2-foot wide (0.6 m) shoulders, and enough fit and polish to rank as a Class One Bicycle Pathway. Think about that, a Class One Bicycle Pathway, for your walking pleasure.

Paved trails may even have painted lanes. Think about that too.

And the shoulders, ah. Shoulders, as on a highway. Got it? Shoulders. Another defining characteristic. Shoulders.

(4) Similar alternate multiple-use recreational areas: Interstate Highways. Airport runways. Strip mall parking lots.

Go have fun then. See you later, maybe.

 

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Me? Still searching for that one soft, quiet space not already claimed by cats.