Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Yogi

Yogi

(1) The art of swindling food from others, normally from gullible campground residents and clueless tourists, amazed that anyone would actually walk somewhere without being forced to at gunpoint. Technically, yogi-ing must be managed without actual begging. The mark has to believe that they are being magnanimous, and acting on their own volition. This whole deal is named after Yogi the Bear of cartoon fame, who specialized in making off with picnic baskets. (Which he called "PIK-a-nik baskets".)

(2) Mooching food, a ride, or anything else of value from locals or from day hikers.

(3) One who yogis. A con artist in hiking boots who looks pathetic enough that otherwise normal people will go out of their way to help. To yogi successfully one needs to induce people to uncritically "help" without thinking it through first. Asking for a handout is considered begging and not professional-quality yogi-ing.

(4) Yogi-ing may also include the "innocent" or "accidental" theft of another hiker's food, snacks, or special treats, especially while on tight rations due to the thief's poor menu planning. Sometimes the "logic" presented is "You just left it there", or "I didn't think you wanted it", or "I thought you were done with it". And so on.

Punishments can range from a mild reprimand to involuntary separation of reproductive organs from the yogi's body.

(5) The purest yogi-ing is an art, the art of "letting" food be offered cheerfully by strangers without actually asking them directly. While asking for something is generally not allowed, and begging is not fair play at all, and actual stealing is out, limping, wistfully staring, quiet whimpering or similar hints are allowed.

(6) A mythical being thought to be responsible for episodes of trail magic. Sometimes seen during the hours of dusk, or at night, hovering in a vague aura of ghostly luminescence on, near, or just above deserted trails. Anyone witnessing this phenomenon is advised to leave at least a token offering to ensure good luck. It can't hurt.

Example: Ed is a master yogi. He hardly has to carry any food at all. But then yogi-ing is an art quickly mastered by the hungry, and Ed is always hungry.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? I just ate, thank you very much.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals