The Fartruk fires back.
I'm Jim Fartruk, State Senator-To-Be from Utah, and I approved this message.
Folks, you all know the saying "Land - Buy now. God isn't making any more of it."
But what does this mean for the future of our National Parks?
Well, Erosion is our enemy. If you built your house below a cliff like my father did, then you know what can happen.
Erosion is relentless, constantly eating at our most precious natural resource, Land.
Whether it's floods, tornadoes -- whatever -- erosion is always carrying away the one thing we can never replace. The Land Beneath Our Feet.
And with National Park Service budgets declining and us facing this fiscal cliff thing, we could see another $5 million vanish. The sole agency responsible for maintaining the few National Parks that we still have is in Dire Straits.
This of course reveals the basic flaw in the whole idea of government. You can't run it without money, and you can't run it with money. It's a lose-lose-lose situation for both parties.
Five of these Critical Park Areas are in Utah, my home state. Canyonlands National Park and nearby Arches National Park would both be exceptionally hard hit. As for the others, well, just go ahead and guess.
With that in mind, and relying on guidance which I have Personally Received From Above, I am now proposing that each and every Citizen and Resident of these United States of America, both Permanent and Temporary, Legal and Illegal, join together to Preserve and Enhance our Public Lands.
Think about becoming America's Best Friend. You can do it, and it's easy, and we don't need no stinkin' government to make it work.
Every time you leave home take an empty plastic bottle, a paper bag, whatever. Here and there, wherever you go, whenever you think of it, grab some dirt and drop it in. Then take that dirt home and put it in a safe place.
After a while it adds up.
A friend of mine did this very thing every year when he went on vacation. His whole family pitched in, and now he has a good start on his own mountain range. He's a hunter too, so think of the possibilities.
And think of what we can do, all working together. As a Nation. Without bureaucrats.
Friends, it boggles my mind, and probably yours too.
Well, a few of us have started already, and all you need to do is roll up your sleeves. We've set up a project on Kickstarter, a project we call Hands for Lands. Unlike most projects, we're not looking to raise funds.
We only want your dirt.
And rocks, and possibly a few twigs and dead insects, but not too many. You know what I mean.
Taxes on land, and on mineral development (coal mines, oil wells, etc.) provides cold hard cash that jumps right into government coffers, but that doesn't help the land. No, not one bit.
You know where those Tax Dollars go. Into the same old black hole.
So if government doesn't help, what does? Environmentally Minded People. People who reach out and grab a piece of Mother Earth.
People who pick up a little dirt here and there.
People like you and me. People in Moab, at the southern tip of Arches National Park, and, well, people all across this Great Nation of ours, some of whom even live in places like Chicago, though I don't know how they manage.
Friends, I believe we have a Last Great Opportunity not only to protect millions of acres of Roadless Lands but to create millions of acres More, all free of Big Government Control.
Simply become a Grab and Send volunteer and these United States of America will thank you.
As will I.
So bend over for America and then show us what you got.
Send dirt, support the NRA, and watch for those Black United Nations Helicopters. They could be here any day.
More:
A Move to Protect Red-Rock Country in Utah