Wednesday, July 31, 2013

National Trail System Expands

Just a skoch here and there.

It sneaks up on you. Take an extra nap one day, have a second dessert another, throw in a few rich snacks, and before you know it, your waistline has expanded. The same happens to our National Trail system.

Speaking from the very buckle of the Washington, D.C. beltway, U.S. Interior Secretary Sally Jowel announced the change in girth. "We had a choice of either allowing modest expansion now, or having to watch the system's seams rip if we did nothing," Secretary Jowel observed from her upholstered office chair. "Plus, the additions offer a variety of outdoor flavor experiences while relieving that pressure. And we did this by adding only 650 miles to the system, which no one will hardly notice anyway, especially with the pleats."

One of the trails recently added was the Cold Smoothie Trail in Alabama, which is 11.5 miles in length, open to hikers, trail runners, and mountain bikers, and features a series of trailside stands selling a variety of fruit-loaded, high-calorie refreshments.

Similarly, California's 28-mile Noo-Tella Trail was recognized for its rich, nutlike flavor and compliant mouth feel, especially noticeable at its junction with the Sugar Bottom Mountain-Avoiding Trail. The latter received its own designation two seasons back after a years-long petition drive of the Suspender-Snappers Waddling Club was finally honored by federal officials.

Another newcomer to the system is New Mexico's Nacho Vista Trail – 29 miles of hiking and biking bliss noted for its tangy, spicy bean dips and roly-poly, peppery whoop de doos.

What might be next?

Well, recently Mexico overtook the U.S. as the world's most obese country. And although to date Mexico still has very few trails, they are expanding at a brisk rate. All this has government officials worried that the U.S. may be overtaken in yet another area once thought to be a defining marker of is uniqueness.

You going to finish that hike?


US National Trail System Expands By 650 Miles

AMERICA'S GREAT OUTDOORS: Secretary Jewell Announces Designation of 28 National Recreation Trails in 18 States

Mexico Obesity Rate Higher Than U.S., Says U.N. Report