Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Great Opty With BLEK.

---- This message contains blocked images ----

Hi Dave,

My name is Vini and I am a sourcing specialist with BLEKSysTemps. I am writing to you regarding your skills and work experience, with relation to job opportunities through BLEK.

Below are some job descriptions for your review please let me know if you are interested in this positions or if you would know any of your friends or colleagues who may be interested in the below positions. Please feel free to share my contact details as below.

Please let me know if you have any clarification do not hesitate to email me back.

#6108-1 Web Developer II / Seattle, WA (6 Month Contract)

Work Location: SEA27 -- 14345 Boring Avenue North, Seattle, WA 98109

Job Description: Web Developer

Are you passionate about delivering great customer experience, collaborate on product definition with business teams, and love to be in the thick of action? Do you pride yourself as somebody who speaks the language of both engineers and artists?

Do words like JQuery, web-services, and CSS excite you? Are you interested in learning how the next generation of Client family of websites are being built? If so, you have found the right match.

Our client is one of the differentiated stores focused on Cell Phones & Services, is looking for talented Web Developers to join their Customer Experience team.

Basic Qualifications

  • Must be able to pass a 7 year criminal background check
  • Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts, Computer Science, or related field, or 2+ year relevant work experience
  • 1+ years professional experience in web development
  • Expert in modern client-side web technologies such as HTML, CSS, Javascript, AJAX, JQuery, Browser compatibility & graceful degradation
  • Fundamentals in object-oriented design, data structures, algorithm design, problem solving, and complexity analysis
  • Proficiency in, at least, one modern programming language such as Java, Ruby, PHP, C, C++.

Preferred Qualifications

  • Ruby
  • Perl
  • Spring MVC

Regards,

P VINI Dreevip - Sourcing Specialist

Global Talent Acquisition Center (GTAC)

Please take our quick online Q-n-A test

Q: Are you passionate about delivering great customer experience, collaborate on product definition with business teams, and love to be in the thick of action? Do you pride yourself as somebody who speaks the language of both engineers and artists?

A: I prefer to play with hamsters when I'm not napping. I like beer a whole lot too. Can we drink on the job?

Q: Do words like JQuery, web-services, and CSS excite you? Are you interested in learning how the next generation of Client family of websites are being built? If so, you have found the right match.

A: What?

Q: Our client is one of the differentiated stores focused on Cell Phones & Services, is looking for talented Web Developers to join their Customer Experience team.

A: Oh. A differentiated store. Well.

Q: Must be able to pass a 7 year criminal background check

A: Does this mean I have to stop breaking into cars? And why does the check take 7 years? Because the criminals doing the checking really, really dumb? Or do they work by the hour? Can you get me on with them? You know what they say: "Crime doesn't pay", but in my experience if you want to make a lot of money fast, do crime. Lots of it.

Q: Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts, Computer Science, or related field, or 2+ year relevant work experience

A: How about a BFA in horseshoeing? (Is there such a thing? If so, I might enroll.)

Q: 1+ years professional experience in web development

A: A professional is someone who does if for money, right? I think I qualify, but what is web development?

Q: Expert in modern client-side web technologies such as HTML, CSS, Javascript, AJAX, JQuery, Browser compatibility & graceful degradation

A: Does disgraceful degradation count? If so, I'm still not interested.

Q: Fundamentals in object-oriented design, data structures, algorithm design, problem solving, and complexity analysis

A: We covered these in kindergarten. Around 1954. Does that make me too old?

Q: Proficiency in, at least, one modern programming language such as Java, Ruby, PHP, C, C++.

A: English? Spanish? German? Not modern enough? Ah, life. I can purr like a cat. Is that OK?

Q: Regards, Vini

A: You make me tingle, girl. (If you're not female, are you at least mostly hair-free, in the spring and fall?)

Q: Highly desired: Working knowledge of Linux

A: Is this the character from that comic strip? I didn't like him much. I preferred Lucy. She was really, really short, but kind of sexy in a mean way. I probably deserve anything she'd like to do to me. Can you get me a date with her?

Q: Photoshop skills

A: Do you want to buy some used photo equipment? I'm trying to sell some old stuff on eBay right now, so I guess that's a Photoshop, and I have some inquiries right now, so I guess I have some skills. What does this have to do with that little mean girl from the comic strip? Please send a complete dossier.

Q: "This message contains blocked images"

A: Wow. Pretty hot, Vini, my friend. I didn't know your people did that kind of stuff.

The lighting is a bit of dim there, but if I actually was successful in sorting out all the characters, then judging by the tattoos, you must be the guy with the tub of horseradish. I didn't know it could be used that way without a license. Impressive application of imaginative technique, to say the least.

And I do like your playmates. Well, the human ones. At least a little. But, you know? As far as work, I did some of that stuff once upon a time. Mostly, I've found that I like backpacking better. I think I'll stick with that if you don't mind.

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