Saturday, March 30, 2024

Pot Gripper

Pot Gripper

(1) A tool. The usual, what you use so you don't burn youse little fingies.

(2) A hiking companion with a death grip. One who won't pull his head out of your cook pot until he's eaten the contents and licked it clean, before you even know it's ready.

(3) Pretty much anything with teeth, sometimes found attached to your butt, or if spotted early enough, that thing with teeth which pursues you, in an attempt to first attach itself to your butt, and then claim your food. Larger models with bigger mouths and longer teeth may optionally be found attached to your head area. Either situation can result in awkward and inconvenient moments, so it's probably best to abandon your food as quickly as possible, retreat to some place far away, and wash off any scent of food, especially from your butt, if you're the kind of person who gets food on their butt. (We're not asking, only judging.)

(4) Any event which makes you hug your cookpot ever so tightly with trembling hands and sends your you-know-what into a full-on pucker. You've probably visited this pot-gripper mode a couple of times. A good recovery can be had by instead finding a cozy, well-watered spot, far from anyone and anything so much as you can tell, sitting down, and quietly fixing supper, though if you still have one, the wrong hiking companion (see a previous definition) can foil this or any process, truth be told. In that case the best option may be to stake out said companion on the ground and leave him or her for the night-creepers who are sure come snuffling along at some point. They are superbly equipped for the exercise and do a fine job of sorting things out.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Hanging on for dear life.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Friday, March 22, 2024

Fuels

Fuels

(1) Government definition: "Plants and woody vegetation, both living and dead, that are capable of burning."

(2) Pyromaniac definition: "All them things what make the purdy flames."

(3) Backpacker definition: White gas, butane, isobutane, propane, isopropane, alcohol, kerosene.

(4) Ultralight backpacker definition: Navel lint, stray threads from hiking shorts (if not traveling naked), nose, armpit, and eyebrow hairs, spider webs, moss, twigs, earwax.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Never touch the stuff.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Friday, March 15, 2024

Eye

Eye

(1) The thing you see with. If you think you might ever want a second look at something, get two of them.

(2) Target-shaped organ that naturally and inevitably attracts insects, dirt, stray hairs, twigs, fingers, and all sorts of other stuff. In case of bar fights, it provides a soft cushion for your opponent's fist, thereby protecting your head and his knuckles. (Or, to be fair, maybe her knuckles.)

(3) Breeding ground and natural habitat of eye boogers.

(4) What hikers use to find trails with.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Sometimes I actually still prefer curb feelers.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

Dystrophic

Dystrophic

(1) A habitat low in nutrients, and toxic as well.

Wow. Talk about a bummer.

Especially if it's your campsite.

(2) A brownwater lake.

Right, brownwater lake. And you'd find one of those where? Adjoining that toxic campsite, my friend. Adjoining.

Hey, where are you backpacking anyway?

Other words that come to mind are acidic, tannins, and humic derivatives. Humic derivatives, of which humic acid is one, birthed by decomposing vegetation such as is found in ponds with peat-filled margins. And you know where you find those? Bogs.

Go look up bog if you want to ruin a nice day. Or any day. Oh god now I'm getting depressed again.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Been there, decayed quietly.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals