Steaming

(1) Steaming is a method of cooking that uses steam to transfer heat to food.

Because of the heat of vaporization, steam at the temperature of boiling water actually contains much more heat energy than the boiling water it comes from. So When steam hits the surface of food it cools and condenses, transferring all that heat to the food, which cooks the food. (Good guess, right?)

Submerging food in boiling water also heats it, but requires enough water to cover the food.

Instead of using a large amount of heat to boil a large amount of water, it's possible to use a small amount of heat to vaporize a tiny amount of water and cook food faster with less fuel.

Amazing! But true!

Also, after food is boiled, you are left with a large amount of hot water that you typically don't need for anything, so you throw it out.

When done steaming you'll have only a trace of water to toss out, and therefore you save even more fuel.

Food can be steamed "bare", in a pot, or inside a container, like a heat-proof bag. Cooking food in a bag is roughly equivalent to baking it, but using steam instead of hot air. Since air is a poor carrier of heat, true baking is extremely inefficient, and even more so for the ultralight backpacker.

(2) Cooking by immersion in steam, or the action of steam on something. "The action of steam on something." Now that's a definition. If I wasn't so laid back I'd be totally steaming, though I'll never be tasty without lots of ketchup.

(3) Getting rid of an unwanted companion by simply being annoying enough that the person leaves your vicinity. Don't try this with someone who habitually carries a club though. (Word to the wise.)

 

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Me? Recently got my nubbins buffed. All shiny now.

 

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Raised Bog

(1) A raised bog is something you're unlikely to meet in person, especially if you avoid wet flatlands, and keep at least a minimal a lookout over your shoulder, though very few of them bogs these days have any real incentive or energy to get up and chase hikers any more. Mostly they just lie there and enjoy being mucky.

Mostly, as far as anyone can tell, raised bogs begin life as depressions, like maybe a pothole containing a huge chunk of ice broken off a receding glacier. After a while, things begin growing in the wetness, and by then it's a sort of pond. With time things die as they do, and sink, and rot. This can continue for a distressingly long time. But rot builds relentlessly, and the pond fills in, and then you get your grasses, forbs, shrubs, and trees, and so on.

They all die too, and rot, and build up, and before you know it (like several thousand years) it's all filled in with what looks like soil with all kinds of things growing there, but still wettish and mucky, and whatever it is that is secretly hiding way down below gently transforms into peat, peat being yet another name for "partially decayed vegetation or organic matter", according to Wikipedia, what knows everything.

What this has to do with hiking or backpacking is anybody's guess, since no sane person would try walking around in bogs of any kind, but just in case, 'K?

If you find the landscape sort of sucking at your feet, and trying to climb your legs, well, it may be that you are in a bog and are actually sinking. Not that it's climbing up your legs and trying to eat you, but that you are sinking into the landscape, so it may be a good time to decide on a plan of action, one very common one being just to go with the flow and provide essential nutrients to this poor place, the nutrients you carry in your body, and by you yourself dying and rotting, contribute to the local ecology, which some might consider a bit more restful than keeping up with all the walking already, moreso if your pack is too heavy.

No more walking. Think about it. Could be an option. Join the peat. Rest your feet.

(2) According to the experts though..."Ombrophilous mire in which peat accumulation at the center of the bog is greater than at its edges, giving rise to a cross-section resembling an inverted saucer. The central raised portion is above the natural groundwater level, becomes solely dependent upon precipitation (ombrotrophic) and is extremely low in nutrients."

(3) Or some other experts..."A bog that has grown above its place of origin, whose center is higher than the margins and whose surface is convex. Growth is by deposition of peat. Water is supplied by rain or by capillary action in the peat. There is usually one or several very acid ponds near the center and around the rim is a sedgy channel (lagg) where water collects and flows away."

So hey. There you are. Happy now?

 

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Me? Never raised at all. Still fully mucked.

 

Refs:
Which Statement Explains One Difference Between Marshes and Bogs
Nature Art | Heather Hinam Illustrator and Photographer

 

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Pack Weight

This is a confusing and imprecise term which has been picked up by ultralight backpackers and turned into a religious debate and a weapon for scoring points against one another.

For us practical types, it's how much weight you carry. This depends on how you look at it. Base pack weight is the weight of the pack and everything in it, excluding consumables. Total pack weight is th base pack weight plus food, water, and fuel.

So, any questions?

No? Then get moving already.

 

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Me? Mostly weightless. Waitless. Waistless. Whatever.

 

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One-Pot Wonder

(1) By definition then, a One-Pot Wonder is any food or meal that requires only one pot to cook. By someone's definition. Maybe it was a definition found taped to the bottom of a rock. No one knows. But anyway, people accept it, so let's run with it for today.

(2) One-Pot Wonders are meals that can be made in one pot, but taste as though they were made by a world-class chef who cooked a multi-course meal and then dumped it all into one pot and stirred it well before serving and then let it sit and didn't remember it for another day or two and then served it.

Still better than freeze-dried food. Partly because there is no such thing as freeze-dried food, as such. More like "freeze-dried partly-edible synthetic manufactured substances that really, really cost a lot". But some people eat it anyway. Maybe Wonder Woman does. Maybe she can handle it. But she's probably not that dumb. Just backpackers. OK then. Backpacker food.

 

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Me? Just itching to get up and give something a severe licking today.

 

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Nick

So obscure there's no image of one. Try this then. (Stolen from USFS. Sue me.)

 

(1) A shaved-down section of trail, about 10 feet (3 m) in diameter, with an exaggerated outslope to enhance drainage in a mild sort of way. Like the fancier rolling grade dip, a nick is used to shed water from a trail, most often at wet spots on relatively flat trails. Boring then. A boring feature. No wonder there's no picture of one.

(2) A grade dip, but hardly noticeable, and with a more obscure name. As if you cared.

 

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Me? Still the gold standard for dips.

 

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Match

(1) A lighter. A thin piece of wood or cardboard tipped with combustible chemicals which ignite with friction.

(2) A thing for striking fire. The term was first used in 1831 for the modern type of friction match. One of its shortcomings is that you can use a match to start a fire but not to stop one. We're still working on that.

(3) A device used to start fires. Contains certain magical chemicals that form a blob on one end of a stick. Damn clever. Not as much fun as a lighter, and doesn't come in as many fascinating colors, but is smaller and lighter in weight, and has no moving parts. Not nearly as interesting as lightning, however, which is your goto device if you need to start a really big fire, but of course lightning is much harder to fit into a backpack.

 

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Me? Recently set my socks on fire. While sleeping. Another hidden talent. Formerly hidden talent.

 

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Lid

(1) Hat.

(2) An ounce of marijuana, or at least it used to be. Dunno. Don't mess with things like that any more, just trying to live quietly and stay out of trouble these days.

(3) Fleshy flap found at the top and bottom of the eye. Good for trapping flies and dirt.

(4) A cover, like one for a cooking pot, which is something every backpacker needs. (Except for the breatharians, a notably feeble and very tiny subgroup of the backpacker community, most known for falling way behind and then dying.)

OK then, we're looking for #4 here, folks. Righto. The only lid that interests us at all is the cover for a cooking pot. For an ultralighter, this thing could be just a folded square of aluminum foil, which works too.

A lid aids stove efficiency by keeping heat inside the pot with the food, where it belongs. (You can't burn your tongue while wolfing down food that ain't hot, after all.)

In a pinch though, you could wear a pot lid on your head for fun at hiker parties. (Want a clue why you're not invited any more?)

Example: Put a lid on it, Fool, or it might burst into flames or be carried off by bugs.

 

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Me? Recently seen eating all kinds of things.

 

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Kettle

(1) A birdwatching term for a group of birds that wheel and circle around in the air. A group like this may reportedly contain several species. But birds will at times do very odd things, of course, possibly just to confuse humans. Don't take it personally if at all possible. You are only an ape, after all, and life is full of many other more interesting things to worry about.

(2) A pot, which is a deep pan for cooking in, a vessel for boiling a liquid or for preparing food, usually metal, with a lid.

(3) A teakettle, tea kettle, or pot. A small kitchen container used for boiling water or cooking food, as we've just recently heard.

(4) A surface depression formed by a large, detached block of melting glacial ice that got itself trapped, buried in sand and gravel, and then melted. As the ice melted it left behind a crater-like depression, possibly more than 100 feet deep at times. This is a "kettle".

(5) Glacier droppings. As glaciers retreated (i.e., melted back) at the end of the last ice age, hill-sized blocks of ice broke off and remained embedded in the landscape. After the ice melted, ice-block-shaped depressions were left behind. These filled with water and grew up to become small lakes or ponds. We call them "kettles". But they are too big to cook in, so smaller aluminum versions were invented for backpackers. Hence the origin of the pot. (Because backpackers can't bring themselves to use a somewhat kinky and effete word like "kettle".)

 

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Me? Dealing with my own droppings, thank you very much.

 

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Isobutane

(1) Methylpropane or 2-methylpropane. That's what some people call it anyway. You can call it Fred if you like. There are those who will think you're clever.

So hey, this stuff is an isomer (chemical variant) of CH₄H₁₀ that's found in natural gas. No — the natural gas that comes out of the ground, not that other kind that you make at home.

Isobutane as we're talking about it is used as a propellant in aerosol sprays such as hair spray and cooking sprays. It also replaced Freon in refrigeration systems. True. Get a hot stove burner and then shoot flammable gas all over the stove, or gas your hair while smoking or even being in the general vicinity of a spark (FIREBALL!!!). Replace Freon, a fire-suppressing chemical with flammable gas. (GREAT idea!!! Let's do it NOW!!!)

And, of course, this stuff is also sold in pressurized canisters as fuel for backpacking and camping stoves. (Almost makes you want to yawn, right?)

(2) A fuel used in canister stoves. An isomer of butane with a lower boiling point that provides an almost constant level of pressure even if a canister is nearly empty.

(3) A fuel used in canister stoves. (Heard this one before?)

It is an isomer of butane (The simplest alkane with a tertiary carbon!) with a lower boiling point than butane's, which provides a more constant level of pressure even if a canister is nearly empty.

Isobutane is also used as a more environmentally-benign refrigerant than chlorofluorocarbons or hydrofluorocarbons, which eat ozone, and as a propellant for the products inside aerosol cans, such as hair spray.

So there you are... You already have the hair spray, and if you have a comb too, and a bear grabs you by the leg, you can bargain your way out by offering an impromptu perm job. Maybe. If the bear isn't that hungry. And doesn't really have time to properly kill you. And you can run really fast when it finds out that its new 'do will only stay put for around sixteen minutes, max, because it just doesn't hold on greasy fur, and tastes only half as good as bug poison when you try to lick yourself clean.

Example: "Ike sold isobutane down by the icy shore. And burned it too to make soup and stew."

 

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Me? Never touch the stuff. My hair's good as-is.

 

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Hazard Tree

Image stolen from the National Park Service.

 

1) A tree or limb that is either dead, or has some structural fault, that is hanging over, or leaning toward a trail or sites where people congregate.

2) What a widowmaker used to be, before it went to work for the government.

Formerly untamed, wild-haired, restless, and unpredictable, it might have killed randomly, raining death from on high, but no longer.

Now it stands upright, in place, a shamed tree, wearing a sign, surrounded by yellow caution tape, waiting. Its only goal in life has become, as with all government employees, simply to live long enough to retire.

Any mishaps (let alone unfortunate deaths) that it may cause will ruin its chances. Will, in fact, result in its condemnation, followed shortly by the arrival of a work crew bearing chain saws and towing a chipper on wheels, and they will reduce it to flakes of nothingness known as beauty bark which will then be spread anonymously across an "interpretive trail", to be endlessly tramped on by clueless boofers.

 

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Me? Still sniffing hamsters. It's fun!

 

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Ground Cover

(1) Plants.

(2) Boring plants.

(3) Boring plants whose leaves and stems hide the ground, so it isn't even more boring.

(4) Usually plants, boring or otherwise, grown to keep the soil from eroding. In other words, plants who are willing to take a bullet for the sake of dirt. Gotta respect that. Most of these plants are low-lying, inconspicuous things. Maybe grasses and some ferns, sure, but also low shrubs and so on, like juniper, ivy, heather. The area covered by the living, above-ground parts of plants. And then leaf litter, tree bits, mulch, and chopped bark too — some of that hardy macho-type stuff. All this keeps the land around your trails looking good.

(5) You. Stretched out, unconscious, snoring.

 

"No," said Sally. "Sleeping until noon does not qualify you as ground cover. Unless we mulch you. Now get up and hike."

 

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Me? So guess what I'm like. Just try.

 

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Full-Grain Leather

Critter skin without the hair.

This kind of leather also may be referred to as "full top grain".

It may be the full thickness of the original hide or only the top or outer side, but don't fear, it has been carefully de-fuzzed before processing.

Blemishes? OK, you may get some of those.

The original grain surface of the skin? Yep, you get that also.

Hair? No. No hair.

Surface debris? No. None of that either. No surface debris.

Full-grain leather used to be common in boots, but these days even boots aren't that common, so hey.

Likely you won't see any residual tattoos either, but if you do, you get to carry around that warm, fully authentic feeling, that knowledge that something with a heart and soul has died for your feet.

Full-grain leather then is the stuff that has a smooth finish, unlike "rough-out", suede, or "nubuck" types of leather.

So full-grain leather will therefore show scuffs and cuts, needs at least a minimal amount of care, and can take a polishing, if you're that sort of person, and it is exactly that sort of leather that works this way, though not all full-grain leather can handle polish.

Some is oil tanned (too greasy).

Some, especially the softer stuff as used in gloves, wouldn't relate well to polish either.

Leather is tanned in various ways, and some versions really only need to be wiped clean, brushed, and buffed a bit to keep them looking fine, without polish.

If given the slightest chance though, leather does absorb water (from the outside), sweat (from the inside), and takes forever to dry once any of that happens. And fungus just loves it, does fungus.

So while leather is tough and durable, even the best leather degrades in time. No matter what you do it will get old and brittle and crumbly and no longer be good for anything, just as you will.

Have a nice day. While you still can.

 

---

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Me? Call me Scuffy, mate! Arrrr!

 

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Eau d’hiker

Hiker stink, from odious (hateful), which is close to odorous (poopy smell), but with an added hint of omigod!, and worse all around, truth be told.

Odious is related to the Spanglish adios, derived from the Spanish a dios vos acomiendo, sometimes translated as I commend you to God, but also validly translated as May God chop you into little bits, you stinky person.

Ultimately all this traces back to the French adieu, a dainty-sounding word also meaning I commend you to God, but with subtle muscular overtones of Because only God can give you proper punishment, you vile malodorous insect.

Hiker stink is so potent and makes such an unmistakable impression that a company named Liquid ASSets Novelties, LLC was formed to bottle it under the trade name of Liquid Ass.

We have this from a customer testimonial: "Liquid Ass is the most authentic smelling ass product I have found. It combines both a bona fide turd smell with the gaseous effects of a noxious fart bomb."

And that pretty well describes eau d’hiker, too, and though developing your own unique smell on the trail is more authentic than buying it already bottled, it is more work. And next to proper bathing, work is an even less interesting concept to hikers.

 

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Me? Always delightedly squeaking with cleanliness.

 

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Dangle Cord

The short version: A dangle cord is an extra piece of line that you leave hanging down from a food bag that you hung in the trees, allowing you to pull the bag down again if friction prevents it from obediently descending on its own.

The long version: Have you ever hung your food in a bag, with the food bag hanging from one end of the line, with the rest of the line looped over a tree branch, then tied to something sturdy down below?

And then the next morning when you wanted your food back, you untied that bottom end, gave it some slack, and then your food bag just kept hanging there? Way up above your head? Refuseing to decend into your waiting arms? So then what?

Well, if you've ever spent two hours trying to get your food back out of a tree, and have almost decided to give up and go hungry for the final three days of your backpacking trip, then next time you hang up your food you might want to tie another piece of line onto the bottom of the food bag, or leave a loose end of that main supporting line hanging, so you can reach it. Either way works.

So that lets you give a tug to that second piece of line if you need to. To get the food bag started on its descent toward your waiting arms. Got that?

In other words, if the food bag don't move on its own, just give a tug straight down and pull your damn food out of the damn tree already, 'K?

Who cares if it suddenly decides to let go and fall, bonking you on the noggin? Better to get a brief head butt than to starve, is what I say. Are we all on board with this?

Try it. You'll like it.

 

---

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Me? Always learning, usually the hard way.

 

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Cut Slope

Original image stolen from USDA Forest Service, then edited.

 

(1) A level area created by cutting into a slope and adding a retaining wall.

Since the soil exposed by this is already compacted, the level area created is generally more stable than if it was created by laying in fill.

A cut slope is a manufactured form of the stream version, which is a cut bank, but a bank is usually all-natural (no sweaty work needed).

(2) This is a hillside hack, created by placing a trail inside the landscape by removing some of what was there originally. Do that and you get something like this, a cut slope. Produced by cutting, eh?

The point is to make a firm, level surface to walk on, which a slope doesn't have, and which you also don't get by just piling dirt onto a slope, even if you do it carefully.

You gotta go and hack and chop and cut that sucka down into the slope, and you gotta know what you're doing.

And when you're done you have a cut slope and you can walk there, and that's just exactly right. It's now a trail. Congratulations, you.

 

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Me? Cutting and hacking? Me? Get real.

 

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Bushwhacking

(1) Traveling off trail.

This is always fun and educational, if not intentional in every case.

And doing this by yourself is a good way to get lost, simply and efficiently.

If you are so confused that you forget where the trail is, and then randomly wander off into the bushes, well, there may be no hope for you.

Because of this possibility, it's always a good idea to hike with companions. Then if all of you are so stupid that the whole bunch of you gets lost at once and has to bushwhack, you can always start eating the weakest members of your group as you go, and that may get you back home again.

On the other hand you might just walk yourself out of danger, back on a trail but into a nasty trial, so it actually could be better just to stay lost and starve to death.

Your call.

(2) Punishing the shrubbery.

You may have to do this from time to time to keep the vegetation in line.

Unenlightened people (i.e., non-backpackers) think that trails are actually maintained by paid drones whose only purpose in life is to go out and cut down little innocent plants so those city slickers can stroll through the landscape without getting grass stains on their socks.

Those slightly more brilliant but still basically cretinous think that trails are kept open by plenty of hikers using them, because of trampling the undergrowth back into oblivion and so on.

This is partly true, but trying it in an area where the shrubs have not been properly disciplined through frequent whackings can result in tragedy, something that all too often is the fate of idiots.

Always take your trekking poles, use them liberally, and never miss an opportunity to whack the flora as you pass by.

It's a jungle out there folks, and you can protect the rest of us by beating it into submission.

(3) Self defense in a mean forest.

This is really a last resort, though not a vacation resort, or a resort vacation, see? But really, if this is needed, then you picked the wrong place to go hiking.

If you notice bushes beginning to surround you or feel slithering vines stealthily snaking up and intertwining with your boot laces (and especially if you are out alone) then it may be too late already, so stop worrying and do something, pronto.

You should keep those trekking poles in your hands where they belong — never out of sight somewhere, never stashed.

Even reaching for a dry, sturdy stick might be a mistake. You never know exactly what you're turning your back on, and you can't count on always having a sturdy free range stick within reach anyway. And that stick may only be feigning death to fool you.

Yes folks, finding yourself way out there somewhere with lots of leaves and branches waving at you and creeping around, and all that nasty whispering going on is not pleasant at all.

You should always, always have companions, so at least you can abandon a few of them to the angry trees while you hotfoot it out of there again and back to town where you only have to face random gunfire.

 

---

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Me? Thinking about how fun it is to stay home with the cat.

 

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Aufwuchs

Wild wuchs on the hoof.

 

(1) A German word that ecologists apply to small organisms found on the surfaces of aquatic vegetation in freshwater habitats.

As if we needed a word for that, but aufwuchs is probably as good as any.

At least they don't bark all night.

(2) Glop.

(3) Slimy buildup.

(4) Algae, cyanobacteria, microbes, creepoids, tiny wiggly nameless swallowable things that gloop and munge around on aquatic plants and wet rocks.

(5) A phenomenon also known as "periphyton".

(6) The original German unimaginatively translates as "surface growth" or "overgrowth". But it's all just scum in the yuckpot.

(7) Anything you eat that subsequently makes you barfulent.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? I never touch the stuff myself.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Z Rest

(1) A sleeping pad made by Therm-a-Rest, now sold under the name "Original Z Lite Sleeping Pad".

It is made of closed cell polyethylene foam, and is reasonably lightweight (14oz/410g).

It folds into a sort of long whippy brick, which makes it easy to pack, or to strap on the outside of one's pack, by some accounts, or results in an awkward accordion of non-compliant plastic foam that has one and only one shape.

Being closed cell foam, this pad cannot accidentally puncture and deflate on you, but then again you can't purposely deflate it and store it more compactly. And if you are a side sleeper, well good luck with that because there really isn't that much cushioning, being only .75 in/2 cm thick.

The R-value, a measure of how well it insulates, is 1.7, which is not a lot, but probably enough most of the time if you sleep on your back and have a decent layer of sleeping bag under you. Since the pad is 72"/183 cm long, there is enough of it to fold into a double thickness and still have your torso taken care of, using your pack or whatnot under your legs, and spare clothing under your head.

(2) Ze rest is what you get if you sleep on ze plastique sheet crinkled like ze corrugated egg crate. Otherwise, and speaking frankly now, this is yet another closed cell sleeping pad, except that this one has a unique surface, and is designed to fold into a long, narrow (but light) brick instead of rolling up.

OK. Sweet dreams then.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Still asleep at the wheedle.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Mind Your Lane (Yellow Blazing)

Bright colors! Speed! No damn walking!

A "blaze" is a mark, originally a light-colored splotch of fur on the face of a horse or a cow, and such-like critters.

From way back when, the mostest-oldest version of this word meant "to shine, to flash, to burn", which kind of fits. Doesn't it?

Anyway, from from the 1660s on, American English adapted "blaze" to also mean (aside from fur spots, and references to fire) marks cut on tree trunks to show the way. A "blaze" in this sense is mostly used today to apply to the route of the Appalachian Trail in the eastern U.S., where the route is often marked by swatches of bright paint.

So anyway, blazes show the way.

Unless you get tired of walking, when you might choose to catch a ride and then pretend that the yellow lines whizzing by on the highway are also blazes, which they are, sort of, though generally you can sleep through that movie. "Yellow blaze" is a hiker in-joke about trail markers painted on the highway, because you can tell yourself that the yellow-blazed road is a route that you are still conscientiously traveling down.

"Yellow-blazing" then is what a long-distance hiker does by taking to the road instead of sticking to the trail. Catching a car ride around some portion of the trail and picking up the hike at a different point on the trail after watching all the yellow stripes go by. Hitch-hiking or driving somewhere to cut off part of a longer hike. Can be considered cheating, probably mostly by people who keep saying "Hike Your Own Hike". As long as you do it their way.

Whether yellow-blazing is legitimate or not is up to the person doing it, so mind your own business already.

Example: "Seeing the yellow-blazer at the wedding reception seemed odd. She should have been out hiking. Maybe she got dropped off here by accident, or just showed up for the free food."

(Note: Today's term has nothing to do with The Flaming Urine Phenomenon. In fact, we've never even heard of that one, so forget about it right now.)

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Still have never even heard of flaming urine.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
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Wood Gas Stove

(1) A gasifier.

Gasification is a process that converts wood into gases and then burns them at very high temperatures.

The process combusts the wood smoke to a point in a way such that the outputs are only heat and ash.

The process is extremely efficient and gets the most energy out of wood while creating no smoke.

Wood gasification turns wood into carbon monoxide and hydrogen by reacting it at high temperatures with a minimal amount of oxygen.

Without oxygen, the wood doesn't burn but transforms into gas, which then burns.

(2) A simple but clever type of wood-burning stove in which the fuel burns from the top down, so that the heat of the flame generates smoke, which then rises into the flame and is cleanly consumed.

Such a stove can be made simply enough to serve as a lightweight and nearly foolproof backpacking stove.

(3) A stove that burns fumes from wood that's been eating the wrong stuff.

(4) A mythical device created to burn naturally-occurring but elusive gas emanating from forests.

That was based on the "swamp gas stove", which burns naturally-occurring gas emanating from swamps. (Also mythical.)

This in turn was derived from the "spirit burner" a device used by third degree initiates into the secret society of transcendental esoteric ectoplasmic spiritualist chemists, who worked exclusively in the dark, behind heavy, locked, oaken doors draped with thick, sound-deadening curtains. (Also mythical, and so on.)

 

Refs:
Gasification
Wood gas
Wood gas generator
Batch-Loaded, Inverted Down-Draft Gassifier (wood gas stove)

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Not quite acceptable in polite company any more.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
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fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
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noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Trail Magic

(1) People making the trail better for hikers — a tradition of charity unto others. Sometimes people leave cold drinks and snacks at trail crossing or they'll pick up hikers on the road and take them home for a day or two of rest, food, laundry, and resupply.

(2) That which surrounds a yogi.

(3) Unexpected goodness falling on the heads of thru-hikers, unbidden. Can include being invited home for dinner, being given clothing, shelter, a warm place to shower, a ride, or might be the discovery of a full stash of water, or more, deliberately left trailside for hikers.

(4) Sex in the woods, preferably with someone smart, fun, good looking, and cleaner than you are.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Not magic yet. Clean though.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Shorts

Short pants that reach only to the thighs or knees, depending on what you've got (legs, etc.).

Tighty-whities are not shorts. Shorts are outerwear. Neither of these should be visible at a formal dinner, for a lot of the same reasons.

A garment worn by both men and women over the pelvic area and covering the upper part of the legs, sometimes extending down to or even below the knee, but not covering the entire length of the leg. Usually an outer garment designed for comfort. (Yawn)

Hiker hot pants. (Now we're talking.)

Underpants. (Nope. Not unless you're all alone, way out there somewhere, and really, really sure that you're all alone, and still want to be tacky.)

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Recently kicked off the island for violating the dress code (wasn't wearing a dress at all).

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Ribbon Waterfall

Assuming that a waterfall is a thing, rather than a process, (Got that?), a "Ribbon Waterfall" is one that is much taller than it is wide — its height is much greater than its "crest width", the width of the stream at the top, or the beginning point of the waterfall.

So the stream of water going over the falls forms a relatively thin "ribbon" of water that falls a long, long way before it finally goes Splat!.

A ribbon waterfall, then, being much taller than it is wide, looks like a ribbon of water if you squint hard enough from far enough away, though it cannot be worn in the hair or used to wrap birthday gifts. (Too wet, eh? And cold too, likely smells of fish and/or bear poop, and is inconvenient to get ahold of when you need it most, etc.)

This type of waterfall tends to be seasonal, or even "ephemeral", coming and going with the seasons, or appearing and vanishing depending on the amount of water flowing in a particular year. As with the rest of life, ribbon waterfalls are not all that dependable, which can add to their charm, if you like that sort of thing.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Managed to get out of bed this morning. Woot!

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Pack Bag

(1) If a tootle-flute and a drone pipe or two are attached, what you actually have is a bagpipe (aka agony pouch) with shoulder straps.

(2) For a long distance backpacker with an especially hearty appetite, this is a shoulder-strap-equipped bean bag, which handily doubles as a camp chair. The advantage of a pack stuffed with actual beans instead of plastic pellets is that beans have more calories and hurt less on the way out. Plus they are biodegradable, as you may know from personal experience. And they make their own music too, saving you the trouble of learning to play the bagpipe and having to dodge small arms fire from your hiking companions.

(3) A hiker hump.

(4) Pack, or anyway the thing that truly makes a pack a pack. It doesn't matter if you have an external frame pack, an internal frame pack, or a frameless pack, the bag's the thing. You can't do much with a frame all by itself, or just shoulder straps and a hip belt, and anyway the bag determines what the frame is internal or external to.

Yes, you could have a pack bag made of anything really (like cedar shingles, or fiberglass, or welded titanium), but as you'd guess from the word bag, fabric is the real deal. You probably wouldn't be happy with any fabric substitute, no matter how shiny, termite-resistant, or aromatic. With a correctly-sized and fitted pack bag you can carry as many cabbages or rutabagas as you need to see you through a trip, if any, or if you frequently fall into lakes and streams for example, you can augment your air supply with a windbag attachment (which, however, requires expert seam sealing).

Then again, as mentioned earlier, just stick a couple chanters on it and presto, you have your very own agony pouch to play on those lonely nights in camp when you can't sleep because you no longer have any friends. (This scenario is an example of what is called a "vicious circle" or "rotating rathole".)

(5) The fabric sack that holds all your stuff, a bag carried on your back or shoulders by means of one or more straps.

A pack bag really is the important part of a backpack. Without it all you have is straps, and that arrangement would not only identify you as stupid but would look pretty weird as well. But you're a hiker, so what the hey.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Really this weird.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Optimus

(1) One inclined to assume that only good things will happen. "The optimist claims that we live in the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears that this may indeed be true." — Queen Elizabeth II (now dead), et al.

(2) Brand of mountaineering and backpacking stoves made in Sweden, from the 19th century through the present. (Woot, and so on.)

(3) A Swedish company founded on June 19th 1899 by three engineers, and still in business as a producer of outdoor stoves, cooksets, utensils, and cutlery. Although the company makes modern liquid-fuel and canister stoves, it still has in production two models that it has been making for many decades, one for 70 years and one for over 100 years. The company is now owned by the Katadyn Group.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Still trying not to burn my fingers while picking my nose.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Nimblewill Nomad Stove

A.K.A. "Little Dandy stove", this is a collapsible solid-fuel-burning stove made from flat plates of steel or titanium that link together with tabs and slots in the metal.

Disassembled it is an easily packable set of flat plates but sets up again in seconds.

It was invented by Meredith "Eb" Eberhart (trail name "Nimblewill Nomad"). Its five flat, thin steel plates assemble without fasteners, and quickly unhook again and fold flat for storage.

It was used by Eberhart in 1998 during his 4400 mile, 10 month walk from Key West, Florida to Cape Gaspe, Quebec along the International Appalachian Trail. The stove allowed him to burn anything at hand, and thus to carry no fuel. Smart guy, that one.

As for what to burn in it, see "The Firewood Poem" by Lady Celia Congreve from 1930.

O hey — I guess I have it right here...

These hardwoods burn well and slowly,
Ash, beech, hawthorn oak and holly.
Softwoods flare up quick and fine,
Birch, fir, hazel, larch and pine.
Elm and willow you'll regret,
Chestnut green and sycamore wet

Beechwood fires are bright and clear
If the logs are kept a year.
Chestnut's only good, they say,
If for long 'tis laid away.
But Ash new or Ash old
Is fit for a queen with crown of gold.

Birch and fir logs bum too fast
Blaze up bright and do not last.
It is by the Irish said
Hawthorn bakes the sweetest bread.
Elm wood bums like churchyard mould,
E ' en the very flames are cold.
But Ash green or Ash brown
Is fit for a queen with golden crown.

Poplar gives a bitter smoke,
Fills your eyes and makes you choke.
Apple wood will scent your room
With an incense like perfume.
Oaken logs. if dry and old.
Keep away the winter's cold.
But Ash wet or Ash dry
A king shall warm his slippers by.

Oak logs will warm you well
That are old and dry
Logs of pine will sweetly smell
But the sparks will fly
Birch logs will burn too fast
Chestnut scarce at all sir
Hawthorn logs are good to last
That are cut well in the fall sir
Holly logs will burn like wax
You could burn them green
Elm logs burn like smouldering flax
With no flame to be seen
Beech logs for winter time
Yew logs as well sir
Green elder logs it is a crime
For any man to sell sir.

Pear logs and apple logs
They will scent your room
And cherry logs across the dogs
They smell like flowers of broom
But Ash logs smooth and grey
Buy them green or old, sir
And buy up all that come your way
They're worth their weight in gold sir.

Logs to Burn, Logs to burn, Logs to burn,
Logs to save the coal a turn,
Here's a word to make you wise,
When you hear the woodman's cries.

Never heed his usual tale,
That he has good logs for sale,
But read these lines and really learn,
The proper kind of logs to burn.

Yawn. (Who is this person?) Are we having fun yet?

 

More info:
at "Wings, the home-made stove archives"
at "Zen Stoves"

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Not that smart, usually.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Measuring Wheel

Some are fancier than others.

 

Let's see if we can make any of this sound interesting, even a little...

(1) A measuring wheel is a device that records the revolutions of a wheel, converting them to distance traveled by the wheel as it is pushed along a trail. These things are used to measure distance for guidebook descriptions, and, it is said, also used to record the location of spots where trail work needs to be done.

(2) Example: Ed called his measuring wheel a "cyclometer", which is true, as far as it goes, but slower uphill, and sounds almost interesting but still isn't, as you can tell if you've ever seen one.

(3) You know those gizmos that when you see them you think "Wow! I wish I had invented that!"? Well, this isn't one of them.

If you see someone using one of these you'll probably think "Wow! That poor dork has to walk this whole trail pushing some stupid rusty squeaking old piece of rattling metal crap." Which is about right.

Some of them these days could be like the battery-powered bicycle computers that do mileage, current speed, maximum speed, elapsed time, and average speed, plus tell you the time of day and whether you are still the fairest one of all. Or whether it's time to give up on that whole youth and beauty thing, act your age, and cheat.

But if you see a measuring wheel at all you'll probably see the old squeaky kind made of waste iron and held together by twine and hope, because measuring trail lengths is low-tech, low-pay work and no one really gives a damn anyway except people who make maps and, given the profit margins in selling maps to hikers, actually measuring anything could cost enough to put them out of business, so it's easier to copy the numbers from someone else's maps or simply make up whatever numbers sound good. And that kind of explains why you see the same wrong intel on different maps.

The absolute oldest form of measuring wheel was a wheel. But later on, when people got tired of rolling that along with their hands, they put the wheel on a stick so at least they could stand up while it happened, but they still had to count how many revolutions the wheel made, which is a bunch of fun around the almost-done point when you lose count. Which is another reason to make up the numbers.

And why, later on, someone thought of hooking up an odometer to the wheel, to let the odometer do the counting. Which is a lot better until you get to the almost-done point, sit down to take the load off for a few minutes, maybe have a smoke and a swig of water, and accidentally, while brushing dust off the odometer, hit the little button on it that does a reset. Which is yet another reason to make up the numbers.

Hey, you're lucky to even get minimum wage.

And maybe that's why the stick is part of the mechanism, so you can detach it and hit yourself over the head with it, or if you're lucky and have an assistant, and, well, you know where this leads...

And then you start thinking. Not about the assistant with all the fresh lumps and welts, but about the bigger picture. Which is, if some government agency, say, has the time and money to go to the trouble to roll a wheel along a trail, then that explains all the bumps and mud holes and washouts because there isn't enough money left to take care of those things after generating some numbers to put on maps. Most of which are made up anyway, and yet you, dear hiker person, do keep buying maps and going out hopefully, which yet again, in turn, really says a lot about you too, doesn't it, in the end? Really? Eh?

Good luck with the rest of your pointless life.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Wheel-less but still hoping to count in some way.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Lighter

(1) Opposite of heavier. If you are prone to extremism, then you are an ultra-lighter.

(2) Person responsible for forest fires. If this person is especially nuts, and starts lots and lots and lots of fires, they are called an ultra-lighter.

(3) Clever little gizmo for creating fire with. Much more efficient than rubbing two wet sticks together. Easier to use than nuclear weapons. More fun too, since lighters come in a rainbow of colors, and some are almost small enough to stick up your nose.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Having fun today weighing and sorting my booger collection.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Knife

(1) An edged tool used as a cutting instrument. Has a pointed blade, a sharp edge, and a handle.

(2) A tool for cutting. Consists of a flat piece of hard material, usually steel (this is the "blade"), which is sharpened on one or both edges, and is attached to a handle, which is the part that smart people hold. The blade may be pointed, which makes it all the better for poking with.

(3) Something to cut yourself with.

Almost every backpacker, including ultralighters, always carries some kind of knife, though realistically speaking none hardly ever need anything more complicated than a single-edge razor blade to cut themselves with.

However, a genuine knife can be useful for cutting and splitting wood, for those who burn that stuff, or for those who just like to cut and split wood. Or for hunting water buffalo (when in season).

Unlike a fork, you seldom find a knife in the road, so you can't take it even if you are the sort of person who would, even if you really need one to hunt water buffalo with. Yet another of life's disappointments.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? I didn't do it.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
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fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Instructions

(1) Messages describing how something is to be done. Usually ignored.

(2) Activities that educate or instruct, imparting knowledge or skill. Usually ignored.

(3) What hikers don't follow when using an unfamiliar piece of equipment.

So we're really just like all the other fools out there? Yeeg.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Always read 'em. Eventually.

 

Etc...

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fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
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Hoodoo

(1) Also known as: goblin, tent rock, fairy chimney, earth pyramid.

(2) A hoodoo is a finger of rock or hard soil that pokes upward from an arid landscape. Hoodoos range from around five to 150 feet (1.5 to 45 meters) in height.

They form when relatively soft rock, topped by harder rock, erodes away, leaving behind the typical columnar formation. Usually the softer under-rock has a sedimentary or volcanic origin. The hard stuff on top forms a "cap rock", which is like a protective, stony cap on top of the hoodoo.

Hoodoos mainly form in desert or hot, near-desert areas such as the U.S. Southwest's Colorado Plateau and the Badlands regions of the Northern Great Plains.

Two weathering processes create hoodoos: frost wedging and rainfall.

Frost wedging happens when liquid water seeps into cracks and freezes, usually at night. Freezing expands water by about 10%, prying open cracks and splitting rock.

Liquid water washes away loose soil and loose stone, and is also slightly acidic, so it can eat away at certain types of stone over long periods of time..

Different kinds of minerals within different rock types in hoodoos are responsible for horizontal bands of varying colors.

The average hoodoo in Bryce Canyon (known for its hoodoo gardens) erodes at the rate of two to four feet (0.5 to 1.5 meters) per 100 years.

(3) A jinx (originally from baseball slang). A charm. A spell.

"The jinx [is] that peculiar hoodoo which affects, at times, a man, at other times a whole team. Let a man begin to think that there is a jinx about, and he is done for for the time being." (Technical World Magazine, 1911)

Like this: "Don't try no voodoo near them hoodoo. They can fall on you head an give you a good jinxin' fer sure, Ed."

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Still got a pointy head, me.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals